


The Sun

by Dumbpanda



Series: The Tarot Works [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad Grammer, Bad Puns, Bending (Avatar), F/M, Fire & frost, I love alliteration, Jealousy, MGiT, Modern Girl in Thedas, My First Fanfic, POV First Person, Possibly Unrequited Love, Semi-Self Insert, Some salt, Trespasser DLC, Two Inqusitors, Wake up as elves, Wake up as mages, a little au, because that would be too helpful, can sense magic but not feelings, canon start, many spoilers, some sass, tangent middle, what could go wrong, you can see it everywhere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:38:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumbpanda/pseuds/Dumbpanda
Summary: Two strangers wake up in Thedas and both are bearing the mark - well half of it. Only by working together can they save the world, but will feelings for the same guy tear them apart?





	1. My First Look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for giving this fic a try and I hope you enjoy what you read here. This is my very first work that I've ever posted and it will be ongoing effort. If you have any constructive criticism or feedback I will be happy to listen as I hope to improve it over time. I have a lot planned, it's just a matter of keeping up the inspiration to write.

I was peaceful, dreaming on that cusp between deep sleep and coherence - almost lucid. My world was still dark and calming though I felt the stir of a deeper awareness to my reality. I was laying on something hard and cool, my whole body aching as if I had just survived being sent through a wash cycle. My limbs were heavy with fatigue and even the slightest attempt to move them hurt. 

I couldn’t fathom what I had done to make myself so sore, but I heavily resented it for interrupting my slumber. I was creeping quickly towards a fuller awareness and any hope of sleeping longer was disappearing at the same pace. 

Suddenly, a sharp pain flew up my left arm causing the entire limb to spasm. It left as quickly as it had come, though an intense tingle remained as if I had just been shocked.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and was met with the most unexpected view of my life. 

I was no longer in bed, one of my hands was glowing, there were giant iron manacles around my wrists, and oh did I mention my hand was _glowing _? I shut my eyes, squeezing them tightly as if a few deep breaths and enough focus could will all of this away.__

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_This can’t be real._

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____

____

Timidly I peered out from under my eyelashes and then blinked fully awake at the panicked discovery that nothing had changed. I had no idea where I was or how I had gotten here. The last thing I definitely remembered was going to bed last night and I wasn’t really known for sleepwalking. Plus, how does one sleepwalk themselves into a pair of iron manacles and a glowing mark on their hand? 

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I stared at the green gash marking my left palm still not fully believing it existed. It was giving me a sense of deja vu too as if I had seen it before from somewhere, but I couldn’t entirely recall where. 

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Tearing my eyes off the mark I took stock of the rest of my surroundings. I seemed to be in a basement of some sort, although one styled in a very medieval way. The floor was stone and the circular building seemed to be lit entirely by torchlight. The only other light came from the space above the only door in the room. 

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Had I been kidnapped? Abducted? Was I vividly dreaming? 

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I knew which one I wanted it to be, however I recognized that continuing to believe this might all just be a dream was just wishful thinking at this point. For one thing, I hurt which was something that I had felt in dreams before, but never to this extent and never when I was lucid. Which was a second thing, since I was aware of dreaming I should have been able to alter my situation in at least some minor way or at least recognize some mistake in this world that proved it couldn’t be real. I hadn’t been able to do either though, so I could only conclude that this was sadly, unfortunately, despairingly real. 

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Still, I couldn’t imagine why I would have been taken, especially from my bed. My parents didn’t have money and neither did I so I couldn’t assume I had been taken for ransom. No family members coveted me either, though that was more usual for kidnapped children than people my age. I guess I could have been abducted to be sold into human trafficking, but it was hard to consider that they stole me from my bed. 

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_Has a serial killer taken me? That would just be my shitty luck._

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Sore and aching as I was, I wouldn’t be going down without a fight. Whoever had taken me had left my feet unbound so I had some form of defense and method of escape. I rolled over, groaning heavily and levered myself up. 

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I froze as I suddenly realized I wasn’t alone in the room. 

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A few feet away lay the prone body of an… I wasn’t really sure how to finish that thought. The shape was certainly humanoid and even feminine, but the ears were wrong; long and slanted like an elf's, except those didn’t exist in my world. 

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_Or at all _, I corrected myself.__

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Standing turned out to be a concentrated effort and I had to take a few moments to let the woozieness fade before I made my way over to my cellmate.

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I crouched down beside her. She had black hair in a short cut and a large face tattoo in black ink. Her hands were bound in iron manacles similar to mine and she was dressed like one would expect an elven scout to be dressed - brown leggings, green tunic, knee high brown boots. Glancing down I was shocked to realize I was dressed in much the same manner. 

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_Someone’s a sick fuck._

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____

I was still strongly considering the serial killer scenario and the only thing keeping me from melting down into a full out panic at the moment was the strangeness of the girl in front of me. Tentatively I reached out and pinched one of her ears, giving it a light tug. It didn’t pop off like I expected, in fact it felt incredibly real, nothing like latex or the plasticy fake flesh feel that costume pieces sported. 

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My morbid mind immediately jumped to them being crafted out of real flesh then and surgically attached, but when I looked I didn’t see any signs of that being the case. I rolled back onto my haunches confused. She couldn’t really be an elf, right? 

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We both stiffened when pain flared through my left arm, leaving the mark on my hand sparking green. I thought I had seen a flash of something from her too. Looking over her shoulder I peered at her hands, but her left palm was clean. Acting bolder than I should be, I slipped a finger under hers and uncurled them to expose her right palm. 

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I immediately recoiled. 

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She had the mark too. It all came to me suddenly - glowing hands, face tattoos, a medieval undertone, and elves - I was in _Thedas _!__

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The elf before me groaned and opened her eyes. 

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She looked positively shocked to see me and immediately closed them again, scrunching them up much as I had done earlier as if she too was wishing this was all a dream. I figured she had the same level of success that I managed though for when she opened them back up she still appeared to be in a state of disbelief. 

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She struggled to sit up and seemingly in shock allowed me to help her reach a kneeling position. Feeling as if she was about to panic, I gave my voice a try, “Hey, everything’s ok. We’re safe right now. Do you have a name?”

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That question seemed to frighten her even more so I changed tactics.

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“Never mind. Take a deep breath, can you remember how you got here?”

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Her face scrunched up in thought. 

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“Not really, though it might help to know where ‘here’ is.”

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“If I had to take a guess I would say we’re in Haven.” 

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Recognition flitted across her face at that.

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“Haven?! Then…” Something dawned in her and though she didn’t seem any less frightened she appeared a little more confident in her posture, “that makes a bit more sense. Are you from the Lavellan clan then?” 

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My eyes widened, “Lavellan, me? No! Isn’t that what you’re called?”

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It was her turn to look shocked, “What? But I’m not a…”

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She stopped suddenly and turned her head away trying to obscure the fact that she was reaching up to feel her ears, but I saw it anyway. It was a little hard to be subtle when your hands were clamped in large irons. The horrified realization in her eyes when she felt the tapered length of her ears was subtle, but I saw that too. I supposed now wasn’t the time to mention the large tattoo on her face. 

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Then it suddenly clicked, she had called me Lavellan first. I felt stupid for even bothering to check up until I too felt the tapered length of my ears. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed them before, they were much more sensitive to the touch than my human ears. 

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I looked back up at the girl. She was watching me with a strange expression.. 

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“We’re elves!” I exclaimed.

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Her brow furrowed, “Did you not expect to be?”

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“No, last I checked I was human. Do you know what that mark is on your hand?”

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She glanced down at her hand, swallowing hard when she saw the glowing gash.

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“That’s the anchor, but you already have one and mine’s on the wrong side,” she murmured. “How did it get there?”

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“I don’t know,” I replied and showed her my hand, “but like you said I have it too. I don’t know what is happening or how either of us got here, but I think it’s safe to say that this is not the world either of us came from. How much do you know of this world?”

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“This world being Dragon age right? I only played Inquisition and its DLC. I never went through the first two, but I’ve read a lot of fanfiction, even wrote some, so I’m pretty well versed in the lore of this world even if I may not be familiar with the characters from the previous games. What about you? Are we both really in another world? Why do we both have the mark? I’m really not dreaming this?”

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I looked at her with appreciation. She seemed to have a head on her shoulders which was a comforting realization. If I was going to wake up in the world of a video game, across from a stranger, and be turned into an elf then I wasn’t going to discount any of my blessings and she was certainly one. I don’t know how well I could have held it together if she had acted like an idiot or lost her cool. 

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“Those are questions I would love to have answers to, but I’m afraid I don’t know any more than you do. The good thing is that I played all of the Dragon Age games and the DLC which means both of us have a pretty good idea of what is expected going forward” I glanced down at her hand, “if we’re lucky that is. It might not follow the storyline we expect at all. There are two marks now which means everything could be altered. The whole story could be different.”

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“Right,” she chewed her bottom lip. “I’m still not entirely convinced any of this is real, but even so I don’t want to approach this thoughtlessly. Until we’ve had more time to reflect on our situation I believe we should play accordingly to the parameters that have been established. I agree, that whatever this is may not adhere to the script we are familiar with and even if it does it would certainly be entirely alterable now that there are two anchors present.” 

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She took a deep breath as if gathering her strength, “I suggest we feign ignorance to our world and the future of this one until we are more confident in our status here. Even then, we should not reveal anything without first consulting each other.” 

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I nodded in agreeance.

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We sat in silence for a few moments after that, both lost in our own thoughts. I could only imagine what was going through her head knowing the jumble that was currently running through my own. Eventually, I could take thinking no longer, I wanted to do something. 

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“What’s taking them so long? We’ve been awake for probably a half hour now,” I announced, glancing at the door. “They were supposed to come in right as we awoke. Apparently the timing isn’t going to be reliable.” 

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She seemed startled at my words, “Right, what do you think we should we do?”

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“This.” I said and stood. 

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I walked to the door and banged.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank for taking the time to read through this. I know it will not be to everybody's tastes, but I do appreciate everyone who stops by even if it's just for the first chapter! 
> 
> I apologize that the first few chapters will be following canon very closely, but it was the best way to show the difference's in personality between the two girls as they are forced to experience the exact same events. Their chapters will diverge from each other after that. I will be posting [Redacted]'s side of the story soon!


	2. My first steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More canon story as we work our way to the first rift

“Hello! Anyone out there? Let us out!” I cried, banging on the heavy wooden door with both my fists. 

Suddenly a pair of eyes stared into mine through a slit. They blinked twice and then disappeared as the panel slid back into place. I heard the workings of the door being unlocked and then a rough hand shoved me backwards. 

Four guards walked into the room. Two grabbed me roughly under the arms and dragged me to the middle of the floor where they forced me to kneel. I saw two others give my cellmate the same treatment as they dragged her to kneel beside me. Once they had positioned us to their satisfaction they withdrew to the four corners of the room and levered the business end of their spears in our direction. 

A few moments later the doors banged open and in stormed the very person I was hoping to see. 

Her face was familiar, one I had seen countless times on my computer screen, but at the same time different - more real and detailed. She was dressed similarly to how she was in the game, though again it was more detailed and textured.. 

I realized that I was staring at her like a slack jawed idiot and quickly closed my mouth. Looking beyond her I saw a second familiar form standing in the shadows of the room. Even in the dim lighting I could see a glimpse of her trademark red hair from under the hooded cloak she wore. If things played out to script she would not be a concern yet and so I brought my attention back to the first woman who was now circling my companion and I like we were disobedient children. 

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you.”

I stiffened at the tone of her voice for it carried a real threat. Afraid to say the wrong thing, I remained silent, staring obstinately at the stone floor. I hoped my cellmate would be wise enough to do the same thing. 

“Everyone at the conclave is dead except for you two,” the woman snapped before reaching down to grab my cellmate’s hand, “explain this.”

The other elf (man I really wish I had thought to ger her name) glanced at me quickly before she stammered out the only safe reply we had, “I-I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“Because I don’t know. I have no idea how it got there!” 

That answer did not appease our interrogator at all. 

“You’re lying!!” The armored woman roared and twisted my cellmate to the ground. She drew her sword and levered it at the fallen elf’s throat before she turned her intimidating gaze to me. “You have one chance. Talk now.”

I felt tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. This had gotten all too real.

“I swear to you, we don’t know anything. Please you have to believe us!” I pleaded. 

“No! You have taken our most beloved from us, Divine Justinia.”

Suddenly the hooded woman was there, pulling the woman back, “We need them Cassandra. They can be judged later and I will make them talk I swear it, but time is pressing.”

I could hear the terrified breathing of my cellmate in that brief moment of silence and I closed my eyes desperately wishing I had a way to get us out of here. When I opened them again, the hooded woman was staring down at me. Her gaze was hard and full of questions. 

“We are not your answers,” I murmured just loud enough for her to hear me. “I don’t know what’s going on. I’m just as confused as you are.”

“Do you remember what happened? How all this began?”

Her hard gaze did not match her soft tone. I gulped, biting down the knee-jerk urge to just spill the truth. As much as I wanted to blurt out that I only remembered falling asleep in my bed last night on _Earth _as a _human _I strongly doubted that would be the right answer. Spilling my guts out about how everything probably actually did happen didn’t seem favorable either. Especially since, I wasn’t sure things had even happened the same way as we both had the mark now. I glanced at my companion who seemed shaken, but uninjured and decided on the best course of action I could think of to keep it that way: sticking to the script.____

____“I remember running. Things were chasing us” I nodded towards the prone figure, “and then a… woman.”_ _ _ _

____“A woman?”_ _ _ _

____“She reached out to us, but then....”_ _ _ _

____It seemed I had given the correct answer, for their reaction was similar to what I remembered. I was relieved, taking it as a sign that my cellmate and I may have a good chance of surviving this mess together, especially if things proceeded in accordance to the game’s original set up._ _ _ _

____“Go to the forward camp Leliana. I will take them to the rift” Cassandra said firmly. Leliana departed at that dismissal while Cassandra remained behind. She helped my cellmate to her feet._ _ _ _

____A guard came over to me and replaced my metal binding with one made from rope. I saw Cassandra had done the same to my companion who was looking at her captor with a mix of fascination and fear._ _ _ _

____“What exactly happened?” I heard her ask Cassandra._ _ _ _

____“It will be easier to show you.”_ _ _ _

____We were bound only in ropes now, but they had been linked together with a generous lead that connected to both of our wrist bindings. Cassandra held the end of the lead and she gave an ungentle pull on it as she led us outside._ _ _ _

____It was blinding out in the sunlight after having been in the dim cell for so long. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but then I saw it. It was swirling, green, and more menacing that I could ever have imagined. More than that I could feel its power, like a low vibration just under my skin._ _ _ _

____I stared wide-eyed at the foreboding hole in the sky for a few seconds and then promptly turned my back on it and tried to nope the fuck out of there, but Cassandra got a quick hand on my shirt, stopping me in my tracks._ _ _ _

____She started to explain as if this whole thing was an everyday occurrence,“We call it the ‘Breach’. It’s a massive rift into the demon world that grows larger with each passing hour. It isn’t the only rift, but it is by far the largest. They were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.”_ _ _ _

____“We survived that?” The other elf asked._ _ _ _

____“They say you both fell out of a rift. Her, then you. Some saw a woman behind you. Maybe the very one she claims to have seen.”_ _ _ _

____“A rift?” she pressed to my curiosity. I thought she had played the game before._ _ _ _

____“They are connected to the Breach and unless we act we believe the Breach may continue to grow until it swallows the world with them.”_ _ _ _

____As if on the cue the Breach swelled, sending out a ripple effect in dark clouds and a low sinister rumble coming moments later. My mark reacted instantly, sending currents of pain up my arm so intense it caused me to reflexively drop to my knees. I cradled my arm and bowed my head towards the snow to ride it out, but again it left as quickly as it came leaving behind a strong tingling feeling as if I had just been shocked. I looked over and saw my companion kneeling in the snow as well. I guess neither of our marks were fake._ _ _ _

____Cassandra looked down at us, “Each time the Breach expands, your marks spread...and they are killing you. Your marks may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time.”_ _ _ _

____“Not much time? I’ll say. It’s killing _us _!” I snapped.___ _ _ _

______“How are we supposed to stop this?” My companion asked. There was a tremor of horror in her voice._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Your marks may be used to close the Breach. Whether that is possible is something we shall discover shortly. It is our only chance however, and yours. If you both wish to prove your innocence, this is the only way.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Somehow I felt Cassandra was only saying that as a means to convince us to help and she would believe us guilty no matter what. I had to admit, that we were both marked did look a bit more suspicious than when there was only one person involved. I couldn't really fault her for thinking this was a group effort on our part. Hopefully, the vision would still actually convince her of our innocence._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You still think we did this? To ourselves?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Cassandra glared at the accusational tone in my cellmate’s voice, “You are the only two to have survived the explosion. That is exactly what I think, though I do not believe the results were as you intended.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Alright, we understand. We’ll do what we can. Whatever it takes,” I said eyeing my companion who nodded in agreeance. It seems we had both come to the same conclusion about our options. Bolting was out of the question. We were in unfamiliar terrain and tied together. Neither would we potentially opt out and try to remain here, we both knew what would happen without us there to close the rifts. It seems our best option was to stay near Cassandra._ _ _ _ _ _

______I could almost see the small _Cassandra approves _text float up next to her head as she looked at us.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good, let’s go,” Cassandra said and hauled me up. She took each of us by the arm and pushed us forward before her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________We left from the Chantry so it was a short walk in distance, but in time it felt like one of the longest I had ever taken. I was keeping my head down as we walked, staring at my feet. The gathered crowd had been looking at me with such animosity that I couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. I had never felt so hated before in my life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cassandra spoke evenly as she marched us through town, “They have already decided your guilt. They need it. They mourn the death of the Most Holy Divine Justinia. The Conclave was her idea; finally a chance for peace, the leaders of the Templars and the Mages finally coming together, and now all are dead. The people of Haven need someone to blame, someone to punish.” Her grip tightened around my arm and I winced, “I cannot blame the people. I too, wish I could lash out, but I know I must think beyond myself, we all must, as Most Holy did, until the Breach is healed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She did not speak again until we were past the heavy doors that guarded the town. Letting go of the rope she took out a small knife and cut the bindings on my companion’s wrists. “There will be a trial, I can promise no more. Come, your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She gave a pull on my lead, but I didn’t budge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You aren’t going to cut mine?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, you are more likely to run and I need some guarantee that your compatriot will not flee either.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’ve got to be kidding. That giant hole opens up into the world of demons. You can’t send me out there with no way to defend myself! You needed us alive right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cassandra stood frowning at my words for a long stretch before she grunted and slit my bindings as well, “Fine, but you will be the first I cut down should you or your companion attempt to flee.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Understood,” I answered, rubbing my wrists. Cassandra and I were off to a fabulous start._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cassandra glared at me one last time before turning around and walking off, obviously expecting us to follow. I exchanged a wordless glance with my companion and then trudged off behind her. There wasn’t really any other option for us._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As we walked I started to take in a bit more of the scenery. In the game there had been a few corpses and a crashed cart along the way, but in this version it seemed the fighting had not reached this close to Haven yet. I was grateful, because I was definitely not ready to be seeing or smelling corpses. The cleanliness of the path actually made me a bit hopeful that I wouldn’t be seeing much battle after all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Beyond the path, the scenery was spectacular. Unrestricted by game design the mountains sprawled across the skyline; dark craggy shapes against a darker sky. Giant fir trees lined the landscape. Their less hardy brethren dotted the horizon; stripped of leaves, their branches swaying in the cold wind. Below I saw the shine of a frozen lake and everything around me was coated in snow. Despite the foreboding sky the whole world seemed to shimmer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I was just starting to smile and enjoy myself a bit when the pain struck again.This time with fervor. I collapsed to the ground, gritting my teeth against the fire that ran through my veins. It did not fade as quickly this time and I lay there for several seconds, breathing hard and doing my best not to whimper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cassandra turned back around, coming to aid my companion back up to her feet. She had fallen as well and now looked white as a sheet. Cassandra explained once the other elf was standing, “The pulses are coming faster now. The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face. We must hurry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________My arm was thrumming angrily as I rose to my feet, “The woman behind us in the rift, what happened to her? Did she survive?” I figured I already knew the answer, but it couldn’t hurt to check._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I do not know. You were the only two found. The ones who discovered you say a woman was in the rift behind you, but no one knows who she was. Everything further in the Valley was laid to waste, including the Temple of Sacred Ashes. You will see soon enough.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She took off at a light jog expecting us to willingly follow again. My cellmate and I exchanged another wordless glance and a shrug before we took off after her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! All canon dialogue was taken from this transcription page: https://dragonagetranscripts.tumblr.com/


	3. My First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my baby, hello my sweetie, hello my ragtime gAH!

Running did not turn out to be as difficult as I had expected it to be. I had always enjoyed running, but usually exercising in this type of weather had always left me a heaving, wheezing, snotty mess. My new body however, seemed to be well adjusted to this display of athleticism. 

We jogged in silence for a bit until we came upon a bridge. It was the first sign of human life since Haven and it seemed to be a hurriedly erected outpost. I didn’t get a very good look at it before a hurtling blast destroyed the set-up and collapsed the bridge in the process throwing us off our feet. 

I hit the ground hard and instantly tasted blood. 

I scrambled back up as quickly as possible, looking wildly around for the others. Cassandra suddenly appeared beside me, her sword unsheathed. “Stay behind me!” She cried as she moved forward to engage a creature that had unfurled from the smoke. 

I stared, mouth agape at the entity that she was fighting. It was a demon. An actual demon. 

It was much larger than I had imagined and I couldn’t even begin to describe what it was made of. Something that was a solid/liquid/smoke mixture, but I could sense the energy around it. A heavy buzzing that made my skin prickle. 

I heard a whistle and then an object crashed into the ground a few feet away from where I was standing. It turned the ground dark and bulbous where it landed, jagged crystals rising up for an instant before shattering unable to keep shape on this side of the Veil.

Horrified, I watched as another demon took form in the smoke and then with what sounded like a hiss began to advance on me. 

I looked around for an object to defend myself with, hoping against hope that a weapon would be laying out just like in the game. I saw my former cellmate was doing the same. She looked as terrified as I did, but she was springing into action. She grabbed a thick wooden plank with some nails at the end and shouted at the demon to get it’s attention. 

It turned and I took my chance to grab a weapon. I hadn’t seen any nicely placed daggers for me to swipe, but there was a broken spear head poking out from under some wreckage. 

_Better than nothing, _I thought as I tore it out and spun towards the creature.__

__It was approaching on the other elf and had its back turned towards me. I had never fought with such a partial weapon before and definitely never against a demon, but I took a chance that it would work and slashed at the middle of its back. It seemed to cause some damage for the creature hissed angrily and turned on me. My companion was quick and as it turned caught it along its upper body with her plank. Bewildered, it swung back towards her and I dealt another blow to its exposed back. We followed this pattern for about nine hits combined until the demon dissipated._ _

__I was thrilled with our success._ _

__Not to confuse that with any desire to repeat the performance as I was entirely sure I would not meet with the same luck in the next battle, but I could enjoy it for what it was in this moment; a sweet triumph and chance at survival. I grinned at my battle partner who lowered her plank._ _

__The moment was soon ruined as sword extended, Cassandra approached us like an angry avalanche, “Drop your weapons. _Now _!”___ _

____The end of her sword was levered at someone’s face again, namely mine._ _ _ _

____“Ok, ok, I’m disarming,” I said hurriedly and dropped the weapon. It took some time before the other elf dropped her weapon as well, looking entirely unpleased._ _ _ _

____It had the desired effect of placating Cassandra though who softened, sheathing her sword, “Wait. It will be hard to protect both of you and you should not be defenseless, especially since you are needed. You did well against that demon, though you are both...unskilled. What were you two doing so far from your clan and at Conclave?”_ _ _ _

____I shrugged, “It was supposed to be peaceful right?”_ _ _ _

____“I suppose. Well there is no time to discuss this further now anyway. Let us get you better weapons,” Cassandra replied. She stomped through the wreckage and returned shortly with a pair of daggers for us both. After a quick lesson on how to hold them, jab-n-stab, and sheath them we were off again._ _ _ _

____As we jogged I felt the daggers bumping against my thighs. I couldn’t tell if their presence made me feel more secure or afraid. I had no excuse not to help in the fights now, but how many could I survive?_ _ _ _

____That was a question to be tested._ _ _ _

____We had not traveled far before I saw another green meteor plummet to the ground ahead. My heart immediately jumped at the prospect of fighting again, but I did not falter in my step and once Cassandra had the target engaged did not hesitate to draw my weapons in aid._ _ _ _

____We encountered two more battles like this._ _ _ _

____Wraiths were an interesting addition. They were less intimidating, but certainly more annoying. Two or three hits from them and I felt so exhausted I could no longer stand. Cassandra ended up having to half carry me for a bit until I could recover after our first battle with them. After that, I got much better at dodging their attacks now that I knew what I was sensing when I felt a tingling in the air behind me.._ _ _ _

____Halfway up a flight up steps is when I heard Cassandra call,“Do you hear the fighting? We’re getting close to the rift now, prepare yourself!”_ _ _ _

____She unhitched her shield from her back and hurried forward._ _ _ _

____I pushed myself to follow her, trying to swallow my terror. I was afraid, but I knew I had to meet the fear head on. If I let Cassandra out of my sight, I would run for it and truthfully, the thought of her finding me afterwards scared me a bit more than the upcoming battle._ _ _ _

____We cleared the stairs and then I saw it, suspended above several figures engaged in combat was a green glowing crystal shape in the sky. It crackled and flashed green as it tore and folded upon itself repeatedly. I could feel its energy as clearly as I could see it. It had a humming vibration that ran through my body and concentrated itself around the mark. I felt the pull between them, but there was no time to think about that now._ _ _ _

____We reached the fighters quickly and I grabbed the blades from my side following Cassandra into the fray. As she engaged a demon I circled to its back and after a few hits it burst apart. I turned quickly and headed for the next one Cassandra had engaged. In front of her might and power the demons seemed to ignore me which suited me just fine. The adrenaline was pumping like fire through my veins and it was making it hard to stay calm enough to keep track of the surrounding enemies. I didn’t want to be flanked or caught off guard._ _ _ _

____“Quickly, before more come through!” Came a shout behind me announcing an end to the battle. I turned to see who spoke and nearly panicked. Standing next to the rift and holding my cellmate’s hand towards the glowing crystal was another eerily familiar figure._ _ _ _

____I stared at the two elves, feeling the energy emanating off them both and also feeling the resistance from the rift. Something wasn’t working. Without thinking further I raised my hand too, letting the rift connect to the mark. I had expected pain, instead it was a strange sensation that made my arm hum with power and I could feel a deeper awareness of myself. It did not last long. Before our combined power the crystal collapsed seeming to suck in upon itself with a loud crack and then disappeared leaving no trace in of its existence._ _ _ _

____“What did you do?” My cellmate asked the man as he let go of her wrist._ _ _ _

____“I did nothing, the credit belongs to both of you,” he replied, “Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky is also what placed those marks upon your hand. I had theorized the mark may be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake, though I was incorrect that only one would be necessary. It seems the power of the mark is split between you and only in combination do the marks possess enough power to seal the tears in the Veil.”_ _ _ _

____“Meaning they could also close the Breach itself?” Cassandra interjected._ _ _ _

____“Possibly,” he said._ _ _ _

____Both my cellmate and I were staring at him, most likely for the same reasons considering the fact both of us had finished the DLC for this game. It was difficult not to. Here was either my greatest friend or worst enemy and I no idea which one he was at this moment. As seemed to be the ongoing theme, his image was slightly different; more detailed and real, as was his voice, though it still sounded wise and nostalgic._ _ _ _

____I’m not sure how long I would have continued staring if my thoughts had remained uninterrupted._ _ _ _

____“Glad to hear it! I was starting to think we’d be up to our asses in demons forever.” A warm voice spoke and I turned to see the speaker walking over to us. I had to contain a literal squeal of glee as he stroked the crossbow he carried one last time before swinging it onto his back. The smiling dwarf was another familiar face and probably one of my most favorite to meet so far. He sauntered over to introduce himself with his usual roguish charm, “Varric Tethras: rogue, story teller, and occasionally an unwelcome tagalong . . .” He winked at Cassandra as he finished._ _ _ _

____Now that I was seeing everything in detail I couldn’t help but admire the craftsmanship of his crossbow; I would love to get a shot off with that. I studied its owner too, instantly appreciative that his shirt was excessively unbuttoned to show off his copious amounts of chest hair. I noticed too how much detail about him the game hadn’t been able to capture like all the creases and lines on his face or the ever present twinkle in his eye._ _ _ _

____I was half-tempted to ask him if he was with the Chantry just to hear Solas chuckle, but everything was surreal enough already that I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle that. I’d probably start mouthing the lines as they spoke them._ _ _ _

____“Pleasure to meet you Varric,” I said in exchange. “When we’re less pressed on time I’d love to get to know your crossbow too.” Whatever this was, I was sincerely overjoyed to have the chance to meet this dwarf. His presence alone was helping me feel more confident and after everything him and Hawke and been through, I knew he could be a very reliable friend._ _ _ _

____“It’s good to meet you, Varric. Thank you for your help,” said my cellmate, echoing my sentiments._ _ _ _

____“You may reconsider that stance in time,” Solas added, with a teasing look directed at both of us._ _ _ _

____Never one to be discouraged, Varric had his reply ready, “Aww, I’m sure we’ll be great friends in the Valley, Solas.”_ _ _ _

____“Absolutely not,” Cassandra intervened. “Your help is appreciated Varric, but . . .”_ _ _ _

____“Have you seen the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers are not in control anymore, you need all the help you can get.”_ _ _ _

____Her jaw visibly tightened as she stared at him trying to come up with a valid reason to deny him, but after a moment turned away with her infamous sound of disgust. “Ugh.” I tried not to smile at how comforting I found that; I didn’t need her any more upset with me than she already was._ _ _ _

____“If there are to be introductions then my name is Solas,” I turned my attentions back to the speaker, his face a humble mask, “I am pleased to see you still live.”_ _ _ _

____“What he really means is, ‘I kept those marks from killing you while you slept’” Varric added._ _ _ _

____“Thank you,” My cellmate replied._ _ _ _

____I looked down at the mark on my hand and muttered my gratitude. I wanted to ask him more about the marks on our hand, how they were split, how it affected us, but Cassandra spoke before I could._ _ _ _

____“Solas is an apostate, well-versed in such matters.”_ _ _ _

____“Technically all mages are now apostates, Cassandra,” he responded, “my travels have allowed me to learn much about the Fade, far beyond the experience of any circle mage. I am here to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed we are all doomed, regardless of origin or belief.”_ _ _ _

____I would definitely need to learn how to control my face. I’m pretty sure it was showing every thought I had, which at the current time was mostly about how I didn’t believe a word Solas was saying other than the fact that the whole world was pretty doomed and his version of it was actually quite dependent on origin and belief. I smiled, hoping I had appeared more interested than skeptic while he was speaking._ _ _ _

____“I am very grateful too that you’ve decided to help us. I think we have the best chance of stopping this with you here.” I said after my cellmate shared her thoughts._ _ _ _

____“So what are you two called?” Varric interjected after Solas accepted our thanks with a gracious nod of his bald head._ _ _ _

____Finally, I would learn the name of my cellmate._ _ _ _

____It seemed, that she would need to learn to control her facial expressions too for I could instantly see the difficulty she was having in answering the simple question. To give her a bit more time to think I went ahead and answered with the first name that had popped into my head. It was a nickname of mine that I was fond of and that could pass as a name for now until I wanted to offer up a more legitimate identity._ _ _ _

____“Cinder, you can call me Cinder,” I answered with my best smile._ _ _ _

____Varric grinned before turning back to my cellmate. She seemed to have collected her thoughts, “And I am called Nyx.”_ _ _ _

____“Pleasure to meet you both. It’s always good to know who’s sharing the shithole.”_ _ _ _

____Solas seemed indifferent to our choice of names and the minor difficulty we had in producing them for he merely nodded his head before he spoke to Cassandra, “You should know the magic involved here is unlike any I have seen. Your prisoners are mages, but I find it difficult to imagine even in combination that they could be this powerful.”_ _ _ _

____My jaw dropped. _Mages? _____ _ _

______“Magic?” Nyx and I exclaimed in unison._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We have magic? Are you sure?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, maybe it’s just our marks?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You did not know? Though, that does explain your unusual methods in combat,” he mused, “I suspect then that your power is newly emerged. An unusual feat this late in life, but not unheard of. It could have possibly been brought out when you received the marks.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Cassandra’s stance was no longer friendly at that bit of news, “That very emergence could have triggered the explosion.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, it is impossible that the amount of power required to cause that type of devastation would have been caused by the simple manifestation of their powers. It is much more likely that the explosion triggered them. Tell me, are either of you able to use your powers?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nyx closed her eyes, “No, I can’t do anything. I can sense something from the mark though, it feels as if has power. Oh! I can feel it on Cinder too. And,” she opened her eyes to look at Solas. “You. But you don’t have a mark.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s because it’s not the mark that is emitting power. You are cognizant of the magic surrounding us. May I ask if you are able to sense the same?” He said turning to look at me._ _ _ _ _ _

______This time I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I didn’t feel magic, not that I was entirely sure what magic felt like, but there was a humming sensation around me. It was strongest near the mark on my hand, but there were also other vibrations in the air around me. I could feel something off Solas and Nyx and then there was the Breach, though that was less a hum and more of a rumble._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I dunno? I can feel a humming sensation. It’s around the mark, Nyx, you, the Breach. It was around the demons too come to think of it. But everyone can feel that right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Solas shook his head, “On the contrary, it is hard for even most mages to be able to learn to sense the magic around them. It takes years of training and an open mind to the possibility, that you both have the ability naturally speaks well of your newfound talent.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I continued to look at him skeptically. I didn’t feel any different and I certainly didn’t know how to cast a spell so I wasn’t quite sure why he thought I had magic. If I did, I would have expected it to emerge in battle when my adrenaline was pumping and I was going on pure instinct. Whatever he was sensing from me had to be a mistake, some anomaly caused by the mark._ _ _ _ _ _

______I didn’t have any more time to consider the implications though. Satisfied with Solas’s assurance that Nyx and I were still not likely to be a threat even with our newly discovered magical ability, Cassandra hurried us onward to the forward camp._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!


	4. My First Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face and a familiar choice

I couldn’t get past how surreal everything was. 

We had actually hopped a barrier just as my character had done in game to continue along the path. The faces and voices around me were comfortably familiar too - though the realism of it all still set me on edge, and everytime I glanced down at my marked hand I felt the shock of where I was all over again. It it wasn’t for the existence of Nyx I would have had a hard time convincing myself that this wasn’t a dream. 

As it were, she solidified this world for me. 

I would never put it past myself to dream of Dragon Age, but I rarely, if ever dreamed of strangers. Especially ones that seem to be as nuanced as her. Add that to the fact that I hadn’t spotted any obvious flaw of logic in this world or been able to mold, alter, or influence my surroundings by will alone and I was pretty confident that this was my new, albeit impossible reality. 

Which meant I needed to be damn careful going forward. 

As we jogged along I started to notice more signs of battle. No bodies yet, but I saw a few isolated houses in disarray and the scorch marks of demons. I saw patches of snow flecked with red, as well as discarded weapons and what looked like shattered glass, but whatever happened here left no corpses which was a huge relief.

We did run into a few incidents of our own. Random demons and wraiths, sometimes alone and sometimes in groups. Nyx and I kept out of the fighting for the most past, hanging back near Varric and Solas while Cassandra charged in alone. Though I wanted to help I knew that I would be more harm than help on the field and I didn’t want to risk the lives of my companions on a point of pride. I was sure I would have a chance to prove myself later or in some other way. 

Not to say I missed all the action. I got a few strikes in on some of the lone demons Cassandra fought. It was never much, but it did give me a little practice. 

The next real battle I experienced was at the second rift we found. It was no bigger than the first luckily, but I also didn’t join the fight halfway through and so all the spirits present there were at full strength. 

Fighting is an ever-moving act I was learning. I couldn’t just hang back in one spot near the ranged fighters, because Solas and Varric were constantly adjusting their position of attack. Mostly, I tried to stick as close to Varric as possible here, catching any demons that made it past his first few shots and into range of my daggers. They usually went down in my first strike so it didn’t feel too dangerous and Varric eventually learned that he could leave the close range ones to me and start on another target. 

As the last enemy fell I saw Nyx raise her hand towards the rift. I hesitated a few seconds at first just to see if she it would be possible for her to do alone, but eventually conceded that it would take both of our marks and offered up my palm as well. 

Again, I felt the power flow through me, pushing into the crystal until it cracked, vortexed into itself and vanished.

With that gone we walked through the gates into the forward camp.

*

I thought I’d feel more reassured stepping into forward camp, but if anything I felt worse. The people in Haven had looked at me with intense hate, here it was with looks of fear. They were on the front lines, no longer shielded by the sense of security that Haven offered. Out here they saw the reality of the situation. Corpses lain beneath bloodied sheets, moans of the wounded coming from behind tent flaps, a solemn sense of finality in the air. These people weren’t looking for someone to blame, what they wanted to see was someone who could help and I didn’t look the part I knew. 

I doubted a lot in that moment - that we could close the breach or even reach it, that I would be still be here afterwards, that I would survive this journey, that I would make the right choices - but the one thing I was sure of was that I even if I couldn’t do all those other things I could at least make an impact here. 

Straightening my back and squaring my shoulders, I waved with my marked hand. Let them know that the prisoners were here, the ones rumored to be able to close the Breach. I was sure the gossip would have reached their ears and that assumption paid out when I saw a few jab elbows into their comrades ribs and point excitedly at us when we walked by. I didn’t stop waving until we were past the main portion of the camp. 

Cassandra halted us near a workbench and opened a chest. She pulled out small red vials one by one until each of us had one.

“Elfroot potion,” she explained before tilting her head back to drain it in one go. 

The others did the same, including Nyx. She sniffed the small bottle first with a scrunched up nose before tipping it back to take it like a shot. She seemed surprised by the taste. 

“What’s it like?” I murmured so only she could hear. I had pocketed mine, feeling that I did not need it yet and knowing it would probably come in handy later. 

“Like mint and...pepper,” she answered still rolling the taste around. “It works like a charm though. If this existed back home there would be no other energy drink in business.”

Cassandra indicated we should take as many of the vials as we could carry and I felt my gut clench. More fighting was to be expected then. I hung back letting the others fill their pouches first as they would need them more and then stepped up to grab some for myself. 

Our stores filled we moved forward again. 

It was a short walk from there to the bridge. I saw the table and the two forms behind it almost immediately. 

Leliana’s hooded form was talking excitedly to a man dressed in chantry robes. As they turned to greet us I recognized him instantly as the infamous Chancellor Roderick. By the look of hostility on his face he recognized Nyx and I as well. 

Leliana on the other hand looked delighted, “You made it! Chancellor Roderick this is-”

“I know who they are,” he interrupted. His face looked like it was starting to turn red. “As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take these criminals to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

“Excuse me?” I broke in. I had seen an argument beginning to brew on Cassandra and Leliana faces and decided to just step in before we wasted any time bickering. “Don’t you think we should deal with the giant hole in the sky before you haul off the only people that may be able to close it? I mean worst case, she and I die trying and you get the execution you wanted.”

“Close it? You were the ones who brought all this upon us in the first place!” He retorted bitterly before he turned to Cassandra imploringly, “Call a retreat Seeker, our position here is hopeless.”

“We can stop this before it’s too late.” 

“How? You won’t survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers.”

“We must get to the temple. It’s the quickest route.”

“But not the safest,” Leliana revealed. “Our forces can charge as a distraction while you go through the mountains.”

“We lost contact with an entire squad on that path, it would be too risky,” Cassandra pointed out.

The Chancellor could take no more and butted in,“Listen to me. Abandon this now, before more lives are lost.” 

I almost felt for him in that moment, knowing he eventually came around to the player character, though right now he was nothing but a source of aggravation. 

Before any more discussion could take place the Breach flashed, setting my mark alight and causing me to yell and drop instantly to my knees with the pain. I saw green in my vision and felt a wetness in the corner of my eyes. It seemed the closer I got to the Breach the more intense the flares were and it was several seconds before this one left. My affected limb felt as if it should be smoking and I cradled it gingerly as I regained my stance. 

A quick glance confirmed Nyx had fared no better. 

Cassandra watched us and then after some inner deliberation looked to me,“How do you think we should proceed?’

I stared at her in shock. The question had been presented to the player character sure, but I had never expected to hear it asked of me, especially considering how little Cassandra seemed to like me. If anybody here was to be approached for their opinion on the matter I would have suspected Nyx and even then I thought with our lack of fighting ability, shared mark, and obvious confusion that nobody would be placing full confidence with either of us. 

“You’re asking me?” I answered incredulous. 

She scoffed, “You seem the least able to keep your opinions to yourself and seeing as how we cannot come to an agreement on our own I thought you may have something to offer. Afterall your survival is dependant upon our success.” 

I drew a sharp breath in and looked at Nyx for her opinion. 

I already knew what I would like to choose assuming the game played out to script, not that either decision ever seemed to carry much impact. Charging with the soldiers was definitely the more direct route and I did want this to be over as soon as possible, plus I could meet Cullen. On the other hand, due to multiple playthroughs I was much more familiar with the mountain route, felt it was less risky, and knew we could save the missing scouts. 

“Mountains,” I stated with my eyes fixed on Nyx. 

“Mountains,” she echoed with resolve. 

It was all Cassandra needed for she turned and barked her orders, “Leliana. Bring everyone left in the valley. Everyone.”

Roderick looked sour and made sure to mutter one last jab at Cassandra, “On your head be the consequences, Seeker.”

I saw her shoulders square in response as she marched past him. We followed close behind in example, Roderick sneering at Nyx and I as we passed so I gave him a winning smile. He didn’t appreciate it of course, but given what we were about to face I spent no time worrying he didn’t like me.

He’d come around if we survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I will hopefully be updating this on a weekly schedule.


	5. My First Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This chapter and a few scenes going forward were inspired by Mayonaka_no_Tenshi's work [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/507998)

Running had not turned me into a heaving, wheezing, snotty mess, but the mountain path certainly had. It was upwards, ever upwards until my thighs burned and I could feel a deep heat under my skin. The farther up we went made the going no easier either. The air was noticeably thinner, the snow was thicker, and with no pressing danger to jumpstart my adrenaline, everything was colder. 

I had always been a bit sensitive to cold, anything below 70 degrees usually had me in a jacket. Luckily, my current outfit seemed to hold a decent amount of body heat, maybe because it was made from all natural fibers, but who knew. Regardless, it did a pretty good job of keeping me warm especially as my muscles worked me up the mountainside. 

Unluckily, it left my face and hands exposed. I could no longer feel either extremity and looking down at my hands both had turned completely white. Frostbite was starting to become a serious concern of mine. I went to blow at them, but the mark being so close to my face made me uneasy so they ended up shoved under my armpits. I wasn’t able to keep them there long before I had to use them for balance though, the mountain path was too steep to negotiate otherwise. 

I almost whooped when I saw the telltale series of ladders up the mountainside. 

“The tunnel should be just ahead. The path to the temple lies just be beyond it,” Cassandra said, being the first one to speak since we had started up the mountain. 

“What manner of tunnel is this? A mine?” questioned Solas.

“Part of an old mining complex. These mountains are full of such paths.”

“Are these the same ones that the old Disciples of Andraste used?” I asked hesitantly. I wanted to ask about the Hero of Ferelden as well, but I suddenly was unsure on whether the events of the past had played out as I knew them to.

“I think so. The tales about the Hero of Ferelden don’t all match up, but some claim that she used these tunnels to reach the temple and encountered some sort of cult. I think that was the name of them.” Varric said.

So the Hero did exist. That was good to know. If I ended up trapped here for a length of time I would have to ask more about this world’s past. Maybe it was based off one of my save states? “Strange to think we’ll be walking on that history. Do you think we’ll find the missing soldiers inside?”

“We shall see soon enough.” Cassandra stated and began to climb.

Climbing ladders soon proved no easier than climbing a mountain. I could barely make my fingers close around the ladder rungs they were so cold and having no time to stop and warm them a bit I was becoming increasingly concerned of losing my grip all together and falling. Looking around at the others they all seemed unperturbed by the cold and I couldn’t really order a halt just based on my discomfort. 

Maybe Solas could throw a fireball at me or something. 

I had just placed my hand on the lowest rung of the next ladder to begin scaling it when I heard Nyx ask for Solas. I guess my fireball idea hadn’t been too far off for the next thing I know I felt a blossom of heat in my chest that quickly bloomed spreading warmth throughout my body. 

“Woah, how did you do that?” I exclaimed.

“I increased your blood circulation,” Solas responded kindly. “It is a spell that should be used cautiously and only in moments when the body is not expected to perform any efforts that would increase circulation itself. Prolonged exertion could push your body past its limits.”

“Thank-you,” Nyx added on behalf of us all. She seemed so level-headed about the whole affair so far. Taking everything in stride despite the terror she must be feeling. I smiled at her before I thanked Solas as well and then turned back towards the ladder.

Now that the color had returned to my fingertips I had no issues grabbing the rung and pulling myself up at a quick pace. The others followed behind me and what had appeared to be a daunting task was over relatively soon. 

It was not long before I crawled onto the last platform and stood before a cave. 

*

It was more a tunnel than a cave I soon realized. One that felt old and ancient too. It was dimly lit by a few torches placed sparsely along the wallside, the small glows making our shadows become huge and foreboding. I startled more than once at some dark figure coming around a bend only to realize it was just the shadow of one of my companions. 

For the most part, we walked in silence, the only sounds being the faint crackle of the torches and our footsteps echoing wetly off the conclave walls. 

Surprisingly we made it through the dark passageway with no encounters and upon emerging again into the bright light immediately saw why; the demons had already carved a path through here, proof of their passage left in the dark shapes that littered the snow banks. 

My breath caught in my throat as I looked at the bodies. They were obviously dead and I stood, staring horrified at the more mangled corpses that littered the snow. There were dark red patches everywhere. As if caught in a trance, I knelt down near the closest one, glad to see he looked relatively normal other than the dark red snow beneath him. He was young looking and my heart broke as I imagined what his last moments must have been like. I was scared to touch him, but I felt he was owed some measure of respect and so I reached out with a trembling hand to gently close his eyelids.. 

“Are these the missing soldiers?” I heard Nyx ask.

“This cannot be all of them,” was Cassandra’s reply.

“So maybe the rest are holed up ahead?”

“It’s possible, perhaps it is will not be too late to help them.”

Solas spoke up next, “Our priority must be the Breach, we cannot spend time searching for them.”

I felt Varric’s hand on my shoulder, indicating it was time to go. I took a last glance at the other fallen soldiers and then followed my group down the path. We moved at a quicker pace now that we were out of the dark tunnel and seconds later we spotted the sign of another rift up ahead. 

Though outnumbered the soldiers had done a good job of bottlenecking the oncoming demons and with our help we were able to finish the fight quickly. Nyx and I quickly realized that while it took both of our marks to close the rift, only one was required to disrupt it and that doing so still caused the demons to become disorientated for a few seconds. I was also pleased to realize that as long as we managed to clear the field of fade denizens before new ones came through the rift then we were able to close it without having to suffer through a number of enemy waves. 

After we closed the rift, Cassandra approached the rescued soldiers who emerged from their defensive positions with relief. The leader of the group had an obvious limp and most of her followers looked near to collapse.

“Thank the Maker you finally arrived Lady Cassandra. I don’t think we could have held out much longer,” the leader announced..

“Thank our prisoners, lieutenant. They insisted we come this way.”

“The prisoners? Then you . . .?”

“Are grateful to see you safe,” Nyx answered. She had a guarded sense of pride about her and I knew we had both made the right decision to come this way. Despite the hellish cold we had to endure and lack of cute commanders we saw. 

Reaching into my bag I stepped forward and offered the lieutenant a few elfroot potions, “Here. Take them if you need.”

“No, you will need them more. Thank you for everything you have done already,” the lieutenant replied, waving away the offered bottles.

Cassandra nodded grimly before beckoning the soldiers forward, “The way into the valley behind us is clear for the moment. Go, while you still can.”

The rescued soldiers did not hesitate and moved quickly up the path we had come. One of them I saw supported the limping lieutenant. I was still watching their retreating forms when Solas spoke, “The path ahead appears to be clear of demons as well.”

I looked ahead at where he had indicated and felt my stomach sink.

This was it; the final leg of the journey. I was long past the idea that this was a dream, though where that left me I wasn’t sure and I’d had no time to dwell on it. All I knew was that so far there had been no opportunities to diverge from the path we were on, but now we were about to return to where it began. What did that mean for Nyx and I? Would we be sucked back into the rift? Would our existence here end with it? 

All of this assuming we even survived the fight. 

*

The closer we got, the stronger I felt the energy burning off the Breach. By the time we reached the Temple of Sacred Ashes it felt as if small bugs were crawling all over me and I was more eager than ever to see it closed, damn all the consequences.

If Nyx and I were taken from this world hopefully the anchor would be left behind in the right hands. 

I made no comments as we walked through the remnants of the temple. There was hardly any debris and the few parts of the temple structure that had remained were charred and blackened. Unlike the game there were no molten skeletons, but I walked carefully anyway. I knew I tread on a graveyard even if I could not see the markers. 

“The Temple of Sacred Ashes,” Varric said in way of introduction “or what’s left of it anyway.”

Cassandra pointed at the face of a burned rock, “That is where you both walked out of the Fade, and where our soldiers found the two of you. They say a woman was behind you, but no one knows who she was.” 

Nyx and I exchanged a look. It was becoming a quick habit of ours whenever we needed an answer from each other that could not be spoken out loud and I was impressed with how well we seemed to silently communicate with each other already. I hoped we both survived this next part. 

Much like the game we traveled down a short hallway of one of the only structures left standing, before we came to a balcony that overlooked ground zero. The Breach itself hovered large and in charge directly above us. Thankfully, it was the rift below that would be our target for today.

Our attention was all drawn to Leliana’s arrival.

“You made it, thank the Maker!” She announced with palpable relief as she came down the stairs with a large following of soldiers. 

Cassandra acknowledged her and then barked an order, “Have your men take up positions around the temple.”

Leliana did not delay beckoning to her entourage and giving them her orders. She sent the archers upwards to take point around the field and directed the melee fighters down the path ahead. She remained behind to travel with us. 

Cassandra turned to face us both, “This is your chance to end this, are you ready?”

I smiled and replied according to script, but instead of Solas speaking next it was Nyx, “We don’t need to go up, but down. Errr, I mean this rift is the first so I think we need to seal it before the Breach.” She looked at Solas for confirmation of that fact. 

The elven man was regarding her thoughtfully, “Yes, I do believe that is correct. Perhaps sealing this rift will even seal the Breach.”

“Then let’s find a way down. Be careful.” The Seeker warned before taking off. 

On the move again, I took a final look at the rift down below before I jogged after Cassandra. I hoped Nyx and I had enough power to close it. Even with a full anchor the original player character had struggled, I wasn’t sure how the mark being split would handle our task. 

We were halfway through our descent when the voice started. It was loud, booming, and tremendously chilling because I knew exactly who it belonged to. I couldn’t suppress the shudder it caused, though I tried to blame it on the creepy-crawly sensation from the Breach. 

We heard Justinia’s voice next, the fear and confusion thick. We were getting closer to the bottom now and my heart was beating faster. Would Nyx or I speak next? What if she and I weren’t even in the vision? We would surely be held guilty then no matter our efforts here. 

My mark sparked suddenly and it was with actual relief that I heard my voice echo across the field. I shot a worried glance at Nyx, wondering why we had not heard hers as well. Her eyes met mine for a brief moment, fear apparent in them, before she looked down at her feet. 

The booming voice of Corypheus played again. 

The voices continued to loop as we navigated ever downwards. It was nearly at the bottom that we saw our first crystal of red lyrium. It jutted out from the rock and I could immediately sense that it was alive in some way. There was a continuous swirling activity within it that made my skin crawl as if it was reaching out with invisible tendrils and trying to find a way in. 

Another shudder ran through me and I rubbed furiously at my arms. 

“You know this is red lyrium, Seeker? What’s it doing here?” Varric asked in obvious discomfort. One I shared. 

“The magic used here could have drawn on lyrium beneath the temple and corrupted it,” Solas answered. His tone had been neutral, but one quick glance confirmed he was unsettled as the rest of us. 

“Well, don’t touch it whatever you do.”

Varric didn’t have to warn me twice. I turned away from the swirling crystal and focused on the growing rift instead. Though that did nothing to settle me. Now that we were closer I could plainly see how large it was in comparison to the few we had encountered so far. My pace slowed as I suddenly wondered how large and how many demons would be able to slip through that. 

I still had very little battle experience and the in-game fight had been tough. I had even lost a few times on Nightmare mode before and that was probably nothing compared to doing the fight reality-style.

I shook my head trying to clear the doubt away. This was no time to get lost in anxiety and I could already feel my stomach beginning to respond. I didn’t need to feel nauseous on top of terrified, crawled on, and about to be possessed by lyrium. 

It wasn’t until we reached ground zero and stood directly below the rift that the vision began to play. A large shadowy figure appeared and the booming voice accompanied it. Next was the Divine, bound and pleading and then came my voice again. It was more than just my figure that entered the vision though, Nyx was there too, standing directly behind me both of us looking horrified about what we had just discovered. 

“We have an intruder. Kill them” Corypheus’s voice rang out in response to our entrance and then the vision ceased and did not replay. 

I hadn’t had much chance to look before it faded, but from what I did see, my vision self looked exactly like me in features, except that she had elven ears and a giant tattoo on her face. The vision wasn’t clear enough to say what _vallaslin _it was though.__

__“You were there!”Cassandra shouted as she turned on me, her hands coming to grip my shoulders. “Who attacked? The Divine, is she . . .? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?”_ _

__I gulped. Her eyes were wide with fear and disbelief and seeing her so shaken brought my nerves back full force, “I’m sorry, I don’t remember any of this.”_ _

__"Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place." Solas interjected. "This rift is not sealed, but it is closed, albeit temporarily. I believe that with the marks the rift can be reopened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side."_ _

__I nodded dumbly trying to calm myself. I didn’t listen to anything else that was said as I was trying to give myself an inner pep talk, but I was ready when Cassandra gave her signal and lifted my hand when Nyx did._ _

__Opening the rift was only slightly different than closing it. Instead of pushing on the rift we pulled, willing the energy to flow into us. I felt a tug when the first demon emerged as if it had used my link to draw itself here._ _

__We cut the connection when it fell through, but others had been attracted by the activity and we soon had a small squad of demons to fight. They were not difficult to dispatch with our combined efforts. Nyx and I both had a small escort group that would defend us while we disrupted the rift. It was lucky that it only took one of us to do so as I could never imagine us coordinating well enough in battle to be able to consistently disrupt together._ _

__We had almost depleted the first group of demons when the main attraction arrived._ _

__I felt a deep rumble of energy as the pride demon stepped through the rift and the resulting hum of vibrations almost drove me to my knees it was so strong. The overwhelming feeling of panic that enveloped me was new and fresh. The creature was at least 15 ft tall and large as a house. Everything was silent as all eyes were on the large demon and I glanced around to see some of the soldiers had lowered their weapons and stood there mouths agape. Suddenly, I realized it was very possible some of them might lose the will to fight if we didn’t take action soon._ _

__I wasn’t alone in being marked, I had Nyx, but that didn’t mean I could put all the pressure on her. I had to be what they expected too. I couldn’t disappoint them so I squashed my terror to the back of my mind and with a yell shot my hand back towards the rift. It was the signal to fight and the battlefield suddenly became alive again._ _

__The first few minutes were rough, but then it fell into a pattern as it had with every other demon we fought. It would strike out with heavy magical attacks which we would dodge. The soldiers would engage the demon while I or Nyx would work on the rift and then when the pride demon attacked again we would all dodge before returning to our tasks. The major difficulties actually stemmed from the smaller cluster of demons that would regularly appear. I had to fight off a few myself as sometimes there would be so many of them our escort could not handle them all alone, but for the most part I was able to avoid it._ _

__The fight was drawn out and I had to use more than one elfroot potion to continue fighting. Nyx was correct about their taste and effectiveness and by the end of the fight I was glad the lieutenant had denied my offer to take some for I had used up most of my stock._ _

__When the pride demon finally came down and the rest of the field cleared I heard Cassandra shout, “Now! Seal it!”_ _

__I didn’t wait a moment longer and instantly began to push on the rift, willing it to close._ _

__It resisted my efforts and I felt little change even when Nyx’s power joined with mine. The other rifts had closed with little difficulty, but this one was taking all our concentration, pushing back on us with all its might._ _

__I could feel the veins in my forehead beginning to pop, felt the strain on my muscles and the blood dripping from my nose, but still the rift fought us. The doubt that we could do this was there, but I couldn’t let it control me so I gave it more, throwing everything I had into closing this rift and with a loud snap it finally broke, collapsing back into itself and vanishing._ _

__I saw the empty space the rift once occupied and then my vision blurred and darkened. Blissfully, I knew nothing._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than I intended it to be. Might go back and elaborate on it later or just condense it with chapter 6 at some point. We shall see!
> 
> Edit: Went ahead and condensed.


	6. My First Cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sur)Reality check

I was peaceful, dreaming on that cusp between deep sleep and coherence – almost lucid. I was conscious of being beneath a warm blanket and felt the comfort of being back in a familiar bed. What a relief. My whole body ached and my limbs felt like lead with fatigue as if I had actually been through every event I had just envisioned. It had been a very vivid dream apparently. Maybe if I kept my eyes closed I could go back into the dream and fix those scary bits. 

As much as I tried to insert myself back into dreamland though I felt myself creeping closer to awareness. I started to hear sounds of people talking and then the wind howling and I thought I smelled the faint scent of a fire. Actually, I definitely smelled fire and it wasn’t the usual burning scent that filled the house when my roommates cooked. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes.

The room looked different. My vision was a bit blurry and my eyes still felt full of sleep so I blinked a few times trying to clear them. Confused at what I was still seeing I rubbed my eyes and when that still didn’t work I hid back under the blanket. The room was not mine. The bed was not mine. I had to still be dreaming, right? I peeked back out from under the blanket and took stock of my surroundings. There was a lit fire in the hearth, a table against the far wall, and a few windows that had the shutters drawn, but I could still see the faint beams of sunlight through. A handful of candles around the room provided lighting. It looked like there was a stack of paperwork on the table. Maybe I would find some clues as to where I was in there?

I pushed the blanket off of me and was pleased to find that I was still dressed and that the room was also decently warm. I swung my legs off the bed and had just placed my feet on the ground when I felt the bed shift behind me. Turning my head I stifled a gasp of surprise. 

It wasn’t a dream. 

Nyx lay on the bed next to me, her small form wrapped under a separate blanket. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed her when I first awakened, but then again I had been distracted. Still, her presence here renewed my original assurance that this was no mere dream and instead our new state of reality. 

I decided to let her rest more and stood to investigate the paperwork. It was a few stacks thick, but it was all notes on herbs, medical treatments, and our condition after the rift closure.

According to the notes we’d been out three whole days. 

_And we still woke up here? ___

__I set the notes done with a heavy sigh. The only other bit of immediately useful information they had really contained was that our marks appeared to have stabilized along with the Breach after sealing that first rift. Though present the Breach was no longer growing._ _

__There was movement on the bed as Nyx sat up. She had a bad case of bedhead, but she seemed coherent and I wondered how long she had been awake._ _

__“Congrats! We’re still here,” I said in way of greeting. “How are you feeling?”_ _

__“We’re still in Thedas? Back in Haven then. Do you know how long we have been out?”_ _

__I patted the note stack next to me, “Three whole days according to this.”_ _

__“Three whole days!? I thought I was dreaming, but to dream within a dream constantly...I don’t know what to make of this. The Breach has been stabilized then? At least that worked out to script. I guess now we should go see Cassandra since we’re awake. How long have you been up?”_ _

__I shrugged and rummaged a guess that I had probably been up for about a half hour._ _

__“The timing really is off here. In the game there was an elven girl,” Nyx speculated right before the door swung open and in walked the very elven girl we had been speaking of._ _

__Upon seeing us she immediately dropped the basket she was carrying and fell to her knees._ _

__Her interaction with us matched the game almost perfectly, except she was even more of a nervous wreck given that there were two of us. After she ran out of the door, Nyx and I picked through the contents of what she had dropped. We found two flasks of water and some food which we eagerly devoured, speaking through mouthfuls. We did not want to keep Cassandra waiting so we did discuss much, but we covered the major basics of what we expected to face in the next few hours and how we wanted to approach it before we set to getting ready._ _

__Rummaging through the rest of what the elven girl had brought we found fresh clothes, washcloths, and a wooden comb for each of us._ _

__I had spent enough time in locker rooms to no longer be phased by changing in front of others and I wasted no time in stripping down. I used a little water from the flask to wet the washcloth and then set to scrubbing. Nyx took a little longer to feel comfortable, but by the end of our wash we had both scrubbed each others backs._ _

__Dressing was a bit strange as far as the undergarments went. The underwear was practically normal except you had drawstrings instead of an elastic band and they were a bit baggy. Bras did not exist as I knew them and instead were long pieces of cloth that had to be wrapped around. Unable to figure it out and getting frustrated Nyx ended up assisting me in getting it situated about my upper body. The leggings and tunic they had provided were similar to the ones we wore yesterday, but the cloth was thinner. To adjust for that we found two cloaks had been provided as well._ _

__I was thankful for the comb that had been provided. Nyx’s hair was so short she only had to run her fingers through it to fix it as she liked. Mine on the other hand was as long and thick as a dick joke, and it took a good 10 minutes alone to work the comb through it. I ended up wearing my hair down like a large mane around my shoulders as I was unable to locate anything to hold it back as it had been on the mountain._ _

__The one difficulty we weren’t quite able to overcome was the problem of the chamber pot. That was both out of our comfort range. In the end, we decided to take turns with the other person waiting outside. I volunteered to go second and stepped outside._ _

__In the game when the player character leaves their cabin for the first time there a throng of people waiting outside to see their proclaimed herald awaken. Given that the timing had been so off in these matters previously I did not expect to be greeted in the same manner._ _

__However, I stepped outside to cheers._ _

__Raising my hand to shield my eyes against the blinding light, the crowd gathered below slowly came into focus as my eyes adjusted and I was at complete loss as to what I should do. I didn’t want to start walking and leave Nyx behind, but ducking back into the cabin didn’t seem like a good choice either. Awkwardly torn between the two options I gave a short wave to the crowd and then stood on the steps nervously tapping my foot._ _

__“Thanks for waiting,” Nyx said as she emerged several excruciating seconds later. She stopped short as she glimpsed the crowd. “It’s your...Oh.”_ _

__“Yeah, I didn’t expect this either, but I’m not going back inside the cabin now so let’s just go,” I conveyed in a hushed tone. “The other great news is that we’re no longer considered prisoners. Now we’re the pronounced Heralds of Andraste.”_ _

__“Crap. I was dreading this. I don’t think it’s entirely right that we go along with it given that we don’t have any actual faith or perhaps even reliable knowledge about this world’s religion.”_ _

__“I agree, we’ll deny the crap out of it. For all the good it will probably do us.”_ _

__Nyx smiled and then we both set off down the pathway._ _

__The crowd did not overwhelm as we walked, though hands did reach out to brush against our clothing or fingers, small mutterings of “bless us” and “praise Andraste” overhead everytime they made contact. The path ahead remained clear almost as if they were guiding us to the Chantry, but after we passed the throng would close behind us, until it felt as all of Haven was following._ _

__Nyx and I both breathed huge sighs of relief once the chantry sisters ushered us inside their quiet halls, the large wooden doors closing behind us and shutting the crowd out. We stood in a large foyer, with three hallways branching out from it._ _

__It suddenly felt eerily quiet._ _

__A larger bustling sort of figure, the Chantry sister indicated that we would need to the take the middle hall and enter the door at the very end. Her manner was not unkind, but neither was it pleasant and I got the distinct impression that Chancellor Roderick was not alone in his opinion of us._ _

__Speaking of the man, we heard his voice echoing down the hallway as we approached, catching the words he was shouting as we neared the door, “Let go? Have you gone completely mad? They should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whomever becomes Divine. The elves failed, Seeker. The Breach is still in the sky, for all you-”_ _

__I did not wait for him to finish before swinging the door open and walking into the room boldly to take my place around the table that Cassandra and Leliana also stood at. I met the Chancellor’s glare impudently._ _

__“Chain them. I want them both prepared for transport to the capital for trial,” he commanded the guards in response._ _

__“Disregard that and leave us,” Cassandra asserted, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. The guards obeyed her without hesitation and left the room with a sharp salute._ _

__Chancellor Roderick watched them go, his mouth open in distraught,“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker.”_ _

__“The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat and I will not ignore it.”_ _

__I stood there silently with my arms folded as they argued amongst themselves, Nyx jumping in on our behalf whenever called for. Leliana and Cassandra handled the Chancellor brilliantly in my opinion, and though he wasn’t appeased I certainly saw it as an improvement that he left without throwing one last dirty glare at me._ _

__Now that he was gone, all eyes turned the book that Cassandra had slammed onto the table moments earlier. Her words still rang in my ears,” _As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn. We will close The Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order. With or without your approval. _” Hearing her say that in person had sent chills down my spine. This was happening.___ _

____The Inquisition had begun._ _ _ _

____“This is the Divine’s directive,” Leliana began to explain with a look of sadness in her eyes. “Rebuild the Inquisition of old and find those who will stand against the chaos. We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and now not even the Chantry’s support.”_ _ _ _

____“But we have no choice: we must act now," Cassandra acknowledged, "with you at our side."_ _ _ _

____I almost laughed._ _ _ _

____Partly in excitement and partly in terror at the prospect they were implying, even though I already knew my answer. I had my reservations of course about living up to the demands they would place on me and the expectations they would hold, but I still felt I had to try. Even if I hadn’t been brought into this world marked, I would have stayed. The people and towns here had become dear to my heart after so many hours spent pretending to be a part of this world and I felt ready to lay my life on the line to protect them in whatever capacity they needed me to._ _ _ _

____It was with these thoughts in mind that I immediately jumped at her offer, “I’m interested. I have a few questions though.”_ _ _ _

____They were willing and generous with their answers. I knew most of what they covered already, but they also covered in detail their next steps in bringing the Inquisition to life, including the candidates they were considering for key roles. I asked too, what they would expect of Nyx and I. “I will not pretend it will be easy if you stay,” Cassandra finally said, “but you cannot pretend that this has not changed either of you. It is not my intention to force you to remain though I would have it said that both of you are already involved as long as its mark remains upon you. You should also know that while some believe you chosen, many still think you guilty. The Inquisition can only protect you if you are with us.”_ _ _ _

____“Our offer should be not be refused lightly. We can help you,” Leliana added. “It will not be easy to return to the life you had before these events.”_ _ _ _

____No, it wasn’t an easy thing as Nyx and I had discussed earlier in our cabin. We didn’t even know how to get back to the life we had or even what to truly make of this one. Did we even have a life here? As far as we knew we had no place to go here and no chance of survival outside the Inquisition. Even aside from any question of self-preservation we both knew the true value of our marked hands in restoring order to Thedas. It was not something we could walk away from._ _ _ _

____Leliana continued, "As for the exact part you two will play, that remains to be seen. So far only your marks have proven successful in stabilizing the Breach and neutralizing any rifts so your presence would be necessary in addressing those concerns. Beyond that, the belief that you may be chosen by Divine providence could be used to garner support for the Inquisition, but until we have greater measure on the response to that title it will not be formally recognized by us. No matter how things proceed, I can promise that your role will remain a key one in some regard and that your input will be valued.”_ _ _ _

____“Please help us fix this before it is too late,” Cassandra summarized._ _ _ _

____Nyx, who had remained quiet for most of the conversation, piped up now, “I don’t accept that we were ‘chosen’ in any regard, but I want to do my part in helping to restore stability. If we are needed as showpieces I will play that role, though I hope our function will extend beyond that.”_ _ _ _

____Cassandra clasped hands with Nyx to shake and then turned to me expectantly._ _ _ _

____“As long as the Inquisition stands to restore order, you have my hand as well in helping you.” I pledged, purposefully extending the marked one forward for a handshake._ _ _ _

____“That is the plan.”Cassandra said, taking my hand and shaking it firmly._ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____That was it. We were officially part of the Inquisition now. I thought I would be beaming with joy, but instead I felt only a dull sense of dread. Though I had pledged to help these people who knew how long I could actually keep that promise. There was no telling when I might be suddenly removed from this world and wake up in my own again. Would my disappearance leave an unfilled void here?_ _ _ _

____There was too, the matter that I was highly unskilled in battle and given the fact that I would be responsible for closing rifts around Thedas it was unavoidable that I would be sent out into the field at some point. Who knows how long I would survive out there, which brought an immediate need to my attention._ _ _ _

____“I know I’ve probably been enough trouble as it is, but if I’m to be of any help then I have a couple of requests,” I said taking a step back._ _ _ _

____I saw Leliana’s eyebrow quirk. “What kind of requests?”_ _ _ _

____“Oh you know, silk sheets, candied grapes, a dozen handsome manservants. I’m kidding of course!” I said as Cassandra scowled. “We do need training though. You saw how unskilled we both were out there and neither of us want to always be a risk. We’re most likely going to have to face demons at every rift and there is no possible way to keep both of us out of danger every time so we might as well learn how to handle it.”_ _ _ _

____“That can be easily arranged. We have a few mages from the Circle that I am sure could be convinced to train you.” Leliana remarked._ _ _ _

____“Thank you, but we were actually thinking of approaching Solas for our training,” Nyx said, placing her hands on the table and leaning forward. “He was the first to notice our newly developed abilities and there is no certainty on the amount of talent we even possess. The possibility exists that he may have even been mistaken.”_ _ _ _

____“I see. Do as you see fit then,” Cassandra replied. “Is there anything else?”_ _ _ _

____There was and we proceeded to fill her in on the other requests. Finally, all the details that would encompass our stay here that we could think had been handled except for one._ _ _ _

____“We also had a question about acquiring a few amenities.” Nyx hesitated, seemingly unsure on how to continue._ _ _ _

____I decided to just be upfront. “We don’t have any money, so we wanted to know how we could get food on the regular? Also something with which to clean our teeth?”_ _ _ _

____“I am sorry,” Leliana gasped, looking embarrassed. “I thought we had one of the servants deliver that to you earlier. I will have someone run it to your cabins now. As for food, it will be brought to your cabins whenever you wish. We will be working out allowances so that you may purchase it from the Tavern later as well.”_ _ _ _

____“Cabins?” Nyx questioned._ _ _ _

____“Yes, as key members of the Inquisition you have both been allotted two cabins to be used as you desire.”_ _ _ _

____I looked at Nyx with panic._ _ _ _

____As much as I valued my personal space I was actually slightly terrified at the thought of being separated from her. She was the only person that knew my situation here and apart from the time we would spend in our homes I highly doubted we would have much time alone together. I still had plenty that I wished to discuss with her and would probably need to consult with her often on how we wished to proceed going forward. It would be difficult to accomplish this if we lived apart._ _ _ _

____She must have seen the plea in my eyes for she leaned forward on the table again, “Thank you, but I’m sure the other cabin can be put to better use especially as the Inquisition grows. Cinder and I have no reservations with continuing to share space with each other.”_ _ _ _

____“If that is what you wish,” Leliana allowed, sounding amused, “I will send the servants notice then. Now if there is nothing else?”_ _ _ _

____“No, I believe that is all.”_ _ _ _

____“Good, you may follow me. I will show you around Haven and then leave you to rest in your cabin for the remainder of the day.” Cassandra said decisively._ _ _ _

____Opening the door she ushered us out in front of her and then proceeded to march-walk down the hall explaining as she went. “The Chantry of Haven was first built in the late Divine age though it was then lost to time until the Hero of Ferelden re-discovered the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Haven was recently restored by the Chantry under the directive of our Most Holy Divine Justinia and was to serve as a Sanctuary for those attending Conclave. Now, we will be re-purposing it as the Headquarters of the Inquisition. The room we left will serve as our Meeting room. Leliana’s chambers and mine can be found down that hallway there.”_ _ _ _

____I only half-listened as Cassandra talked, distracted again by how surreal everything felt. I thought about how I would have explored each room behind those doors and every corridor if this had been the game. If I just barged into their chambers and started opening all their chests and lockboxes for loot, people would react now. I smiled, as I thought about the type of scandalous drama that would bring about._ _ _ _

____“Is something funny?” Cassandra’s stern tone broke through my thoughts._ _ _ _

____Caught off guard I felt my face flush and I immediately looked down at my feet to hide it,“ah, no, I just like listening to you talk, it’s an accent I’ve never heard before. Where are you from Lady Seeker?”_ _ _ _

____I heard Nyx stifle a chuckle and if she had been in reach I would have elbowed her._ _ _ _

____Cassandra looked at me dubiously, but after a pause began to answer, “I’m originally from Nevarra, though I am surprised if you hear that accent. I joined the Seekers at a young age and was with the order until they withdrew from the Chantry. I remained as the Divine’s Right Hand after and have not returned to my homeland in many ages.” Without stopping she opened the door to the Chantry and we followed her into the bright light. She continued to speak as she led us down the path, “but that is enough about me. What about you, where are you from?”_ _ _ _

____I balked, definitely unsure on how to answer that question. Nyx and I assumed we were from the Lavellan clan, but there was no certainty of it and it would do us no favors to claim connections we did not actually possess._ _ _ _

____“We’re from the Free Marches,” Nyx stated, clasping her hands behind her back and pushing her chest out slightly. “Though our true origins are hard to say. The clan moved frequently as is typical of the Dalish.”_ _ _ _

____“I was not aware your people roamed that far north. Do you intend to go back?”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not sure, I will be honest that I do not miss much from back home, but I can’t be sure that at the same time I would say that I would never plan on returning. I think it will mostly be decided by how things go here.”_ _ _ _

____Cassandra looked at me and I reiterated much of what Nyx said. The Seeker nodded and then returned the conversation to the tour of Haven._ _ _ _

____The plateau below the Chantry was a variety of homes and tents, the Seeker pointing out a few and naming who they belonged too. Our new cabin was located here and I quickly tried to memorize its location. The next area of level ground below belonged to well established structures, a few shoddy ones, and again a variety of tents. Most of the merchants resided here as well as many of the civilians and pilgrims that had ventured out to witness Conclave or pay homage to Andraste. Cassandra made sure to have us note where the apothecary, tailor, and general store was located. She glossed over the Tavern’s location in the area, but one could find its location by the stench alone so there was hardly any need._ _ _ _

____She took us down a few steps next to an area mostly comprised of quickly erected shelters, showing us the siege equipment laid out in an area to the left of us. The stables and armory were located here and it was announced that tomorrow Nyx and I would be visiting the smith to get our measurements taken. After that we exited Haven and toured the training grounds before Cassandra escorted us back to our cabin where she left us to rest until tomorrow._ _ _ _

____Upon entering our new establishment we found a generous array of food, clean clothes, and supplies we assumed were to be used for dental hygiene. There was no toothbrush, but instead a rough cloth had been provided as well as a minty smelling paste and a vial of spiced vinegar. Aside from that, I was also delighted to find a few bands of leather that I could use to tie my hair back and quickly set to pulling it back into a braid before helping myself to a serving of food._ _ _ _

____“What are your thoughts on everything that has happened so far?” Nyx prompted as I took a seat next to her on the floor before the welcoming fire in the hearth._ _ _ _

____She then continued on before I could even answer,“I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by everything that’s occurred. They’re depending on us to close the Breach, to sort out the mages and templars, to save all of Thedas. This all seems impossible. I’ve already decided to treat this situation as I would if it was real, but I still harbor doubts about that. I mean maybe I’ve gone insane and I’ve been stuck in a mental facility or maybe it’s some sort of dream study or big brother experiment. Whatever has actually happened I know I need to make the best of it.”_ _ _ _

____“The one thing I’m certain about is that there are no save points here, no re-dos which means we’re going to have act in a way that will ensure our survival here. Receiving magical training is a good first step, but we’re also going to need to learn as much as we can about this world. There is no guarantee that the knowledge we’ve brought with us will be reliable. It’s best to read up on the history for ourselves and talk to as many people as possible here. That way we can also make the best-informed decisions going forward.” She had barely touched her food in her preoccupation with trying to work through everything going on in her head. The one-sided conversation was having some effect though as the tension in her jawline finally seemed to be receding._ _ _ _

____I ate quietly letting her vent out all her frustrations and thoughts regarding this matter. I knew it probably helped more to just hear herself talk so she could sort out all the jumbled ideas in her head and honestly, it helped me more to listen then try to explain my side of things. I never considered myself very adept at communicating my own thoughts and feelings so I always found it simpler to let someone else spell out what I was going through and just voice agreement where I felt it._ _ _ _

____She let out a heavy sigh releasing the last of it, “On that matter I stand firm that we shouldn’t reveal what we know. At the very least not until we’re sure that it will absolutely occur in the exact manner we know it to and even then only on the basis that our warning will save lives.”_ _ _ _

____“I agree. Best to keep our cards to ourselves as the saying goes,” I said, finally adding my thoughts on the matter. “The last thing we want to do is throw ourselves any curve balls. Speaking of which, what should we say regarding our backgrounds?”_ _ _ _

____“Hmm,” Nyx chewed her lip in thought, “it would be best to remain as evasive as possible. Maybe we can claim memory loss even past the conclave?”_ _ _ _

____“That could work. They probably don’t know much about how memory loss actually works. We could remember vague things, like a face or event, but not remember exact names or places. That way we could offer snippets of information about ourselves to gain trust, but not have to commit to any clan or location until we know for certain.”_ _ _ _

____She began picking at her food, her eyes going distant with thought. “We’re from another world. Dragon Age is just a game, but here we are. Where were you living before you woke up here? Is Cinder really your name?”_ _ _ _

____“Oh gosh, no. Cinder is a nickname! My real name is Audrey. I’ve been living in San Fran, but life back home was dull compared to this. I wonder if the people back home miss me at all. My parents travel a lot so I rarely saw them and I have two older sisters but we were never close. They are both married and have families of their own.What about you? What’s your deal?”_ _ _ _

____“Audrey is such a pretty name. My real name was so normal. I hated it, so I’m glad I changed it here. As for where I’m from...Jackson, Virginia. It’s a small town with small people if you can imagine. Not many new thoughts came through there. My parents are divorced and I have one younger sibling, but they all live in different areas so I rent a room with a few other people.” She shrugged as if dismissing that entire reality and suddenly dived wholeheartedly into eating, “Oh man, I am starving.”_ _ _ _

____I laughed then before getting up to help myself to seconds and bringing back more bread which she grabbed at eagerly._ _ _ _

____We talked a bit more after eating, regarding the decisions we would like to make on the events we anticipated encountering. It was nice that we found ourselves in agreement regarding most of the choices and the ones that we disagreed on were usually so inconsequential that I ended up just deferring to her judgement on the matter._ _ _ _

____The one pressing matter we weren’t decided about how to handle was Haven and that was because we weren’t entirely sure about how those factors would play out yet. We knew we wanted to save all the lives we could, but had yet to develop any certain plan on how._ _ _ _

____As far as the matter of being the ‘Heralds of Andraste’ we agreed to neither fully deny or accept the title for now. If it was ever slipped that we were from another world or we did need to reveal that we knew about future events it would be a good explanation to have in our back pocket and hopefully stave off a call to burn us at the stake._ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____I didn’t have any way to tell exact time, but peering out of the shutters of our cabin I could see that the sun was on its path of descent in the sky._ _ _ _

____I wasn’t sure how long Nyx and I had been talking, but I was growing tired of it. Most of what we discussed was nothing more than speculation as this point and there was nothing we could act on until we knew more._ _ _ _

____“I’m going out,” I announced suddenly, grabbing my cloak off its hook._ _ _ _

____“Are you sure that’s wise?”_ _ _ _

____I shrugged. “I can’t sit here stuck in my own head any longer, I’ve got to do something. Don’t worry, I’ll keep a low profile. Just going to get a better feel for Haven, talk to a few merchants, maybe borrow some books we can read.”_ _ _ _

____I gave her a reassuring wink and then walked out._ _ _ _

____Usually I would have avoided going out into the cold at all costs, but after being near death for three days I felt like I needed to live life again and that wasn’t going to happen while I was stuck up in the cabin pondering a multitude of what-ifs._ _ _ _

____I pulled my cloak up higher and strode off._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this will be the last weekly update for this side of the story for a bit as I will be focusing on the Main Character's take over [this-a-way](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11665455/chapters/26250750). Cinder's perspective will still be receiving updates just at a slower pace.


	7. My First Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight clubs and wartables.

There was no destination in mind as I walked, the only reasoning for leaving the cabin having been pure boredom, but I soon found myself heading in the direction of the stables.

I supposed it was an old comfort of mine to be there. Having grown up around horses for much of my life it was always a place I felt at home at because I knew what needed to be done and how to do it. Having little skill to offer in this new world and little surety of my place in it, it would actually be a simple pleasure to muck a stall out or clean tack. 

There wasn’t much to see around the stables. None of the horses for the Inquisition had arrived yet so it was only home to about five or six horses at the moment. Most of them looked older in years and hard worked. I assumed they were cart horses, brought in by merchants and pilgrims. 

I said hello to one with a gentle scratch and then looked around for a stable hand. 

There was nobody in sight around the field, but I could see lights coming from the stall area so I moved in that direction. As I drew closer I heard sounds of fighting. 

“Oh, hello there,” a man suddenly said, stepping out in front of me. He was a big farm lad; broad shoulders, boyish face, with blonde hair and grey eyes. “Did someone send you here on errand? I can help with whatever you need.”

“Er, not exactly. I was just coming by to- what’s that sound?” I asked trying to peer around his massive frame, “It sounds like fighting!”

“It’s nothing. Not fighting, just the pigs getting hungry.”

He was flustered and obviously lying. He was twice my size, but there was no inner voice warning me to be cautious so I pulled back and gave him a winning smile. “Ooooooo of course. How silly of me.”

The moment he relaxed, I was past him. Sprinting towards the sound. I heard him shout behind me and knew he had given chase, but I saw the scene before he caught me. 

One of the stalls had been converted into a makeshift fight ring. Two lads were in the middle swinging with wild power, yet precision, blows blocked and returned as feet stirred up dust and dirt to accommodate their rapid movements. Fight club reality.

“Hey, look you’re not supposed to be here,” the blonde lad from earlier murmured nervously in my ear as one of his large hands took hold of my shoulder to pull me back into the shadows.

I spun on him. “Teach me how to fight like that and I won’t tell.”

“What? No... You’re serious? I’m not going to hit a girl.”

The spectators cheered and I turned about to see one of the fighters had fallen. A darker lad with a full beard was the victor. The fight over the crowd was beginning to turn towards me. 

“Look, I get what’s going on here,” I said in a hushed voice to the blonde lad, “there’s a giant hole in the sky, the world’s in danger, and for the past three days no one has seemingly been doing a damn thing about it. You want to do something and that’s great, but with no training regiments, no demons to battle, this is your outlet. Training me could be an outlet too. You’d be doing something good! I’m not asking you to hit me, but at least teach me how to throw a punch and block. I don’t have any skills to defend myself and you can’t tell me the world is gonna treat me nicely.”

He seemed doubtful still. 

“I’ll meet you here at night and you can just help me learn some of the basics. I’ll bring some extra food when I come as a way of saying thanks for teaching me how to defend myself. No one has to know.”

“Alright,” his face scrunched up. “You promise you won’t try to fight in the ring?”

“Promise,” I smiled and crossed my fingers behind my back. Becoming adept enough to step into the ring was exactly what I intended. I would hopefully be learning magic shortly, but even then I wanted to have an alternative method of defense. There were bound to be fights that I would find myself unable to cast, in short range, or just hesitant to reveal my magical talents for one reason or another. 

“Ok then. Meet me here tomorrow evening and I’ll teach you how to throw a punch at least,” He finally relented. “Now get out of here before they see you. Don’t tell anyone about this...and don’t forget the food!”

“Wait, what’s your name?”

“Gilbert. Now go!”

He shooed me out the door and I left the stables with a big grin.

This fight club of theirs wasn’t going to last long once the Inquisition was fully up and running as most of them would probably enlist as soldiers and be too worn out after training. It was a good thing to discover early on so that I could take full advantage of it while it lasted. Hopefully, I would be able to grasp enough of the basics to continue practicing on my own. 

Now, the only problem was how to fulfill my promise of bringing food every night. I didn’t exactly have access to the kitchens, but maybe I could smuggle him some of the food that I was allotted.

It was a problem to address when the time came. 

I drew my cloak up closer around my face, again, trying to hide my features as much as possible. There were not many people with face tattoos at my height and sporting bright red hair which made me easily identifiable as one of the Heralds. I was lucky the stable hand hadn’t recognized me, but I supposed the shadows had helped, not to mention he seemed a bit dim. Capable of fighting though. 

I spoke to no one else as I made my way to the chantry in search of the books I had told Nyx I would try to bring back. As the sun was close to setting there were very few people about and so it surprised me when I reached the chantry to see a small crowd outside its doors. Hunching over, I inched closer until I could see what they were all discussing in excited tons. 

Nailed to the doors was a scroll, the seal of the Inquisition plain to see on the face of it. 

“They’ve declared themselves valid.”

“Heretics all of them.”

“Chancellor Roderick says anyone who follows the Inquisition is denouncing the maker.”

“Chancellor Roderick doesn’t get to decide that.”

“Will they throw us out if we don’t join?”

Quietly, I withdrew from the crowd and started back towards my cabin. There was no way I was pushing myself through that throng just to pursue books that I may or may not be able to bring back with me. There would be too many questions, accusations, and threats that I was not diplomatically capable of handling. A fancy way of saying that someone would probably end up with a fist in their face. As I got off the steps onto the third tier I saw a familiar figure heading my way. Grinning, I called him over. 

“Hey there! So, now that Cassandra’s out of earshot, are you holding up alright?” Varric asked as he strolled over to me. “I mean, you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would have spread that out over more than one day.” 

I was touched by the hint of concern in his voice. “Don’t undersell me. I also got cursed with this mark on my hand, discovered I had magical powers, and saw a fade echo of myself next to a tied up divine tormented by a very large, very scary shadow person who hopefully perished in the very blast I survived.”

“Believe me, the last thing I’m gonna do right now is doubt you. For days now, we’ve been staring at the Breach, watching demons and Maker-knows-what fall out of it. ‘Bad for morale’ would be an understatement. I still can’t believe anyone was in there and lived.”

“That makes two of us. I’m not sure if I’m lucky or divinely chosen to be unlucky." I said looking down at my hand and the softly glowing mark.

"You might want to consider running at the nearest opportunity. I've written enough tragedies to see where this is going."

"I can’t run, but you could. Why have you stayed?"

"I like to think I'm as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy but this...? Thousands of people died on that mountain and I was almost one of them. Now there's a hole in the sky. Even I can't just walk away and leave that to sort itself out. Heroes are everywhere. I’ve seen that. But the hole in the sky? That’s beyond heroes. We’re going to need a miracle”

I wanted to say something funny, like Hawke would, but I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t think of any comforting words either. I knew there was hope and knew things could be overcome, I just wasn’t entirely sure if Nyx and I were up to the task quite yet. 

"Speaking of miracles," I said, breaking the silence, "I'll need one if I ever hope to start learning to fight properly. Maybe I’d be better off learning how to shoot a crossbow. Where did you get Bianca anyway?"

"This beauty? I found her in a dragonbone chest in the basement of a house I bought. Broke about a dozen lockpicks and blunted a few saws trying to get it open, but it was all worth it the end when I pulled her out."

I hadn’t expected a real answer, but I stared at him with a genuine look of skepticism anyway. “Huh, and what’s the real story?”

“Can’t tell you that.”

“No problem, I understand. Could you tell me about the Champion of Kirkwall? I heard you were personal friends.” I said trying to avoid pronouns. I had no idea if Hawke would be male or female and was hoping he/she even existed.

“Ah, sure. What do you want to know?”

“Ummm, where are the Champion’s associates now?”

“Hmm, well. Merrill decided to look after the elves left homeless by the fighting. She’s done a pretty good job of keeping them away from the mages and Templars so far. I guess she had plenty of practice avoiding stupid human battles with her old Dalish clan. Fenris has kept himself busy, hunting down the Tevinter slavers who came south to pretty on the refugees. I’m not sure exactly where he is at the moment. You can usually follow the trail of corpses, though. Isabela went back to the Raiders. She’s calling herself an admiral now. I don’t know if she’s actually in charge or just has a really big hat. Might be the same thing, honestly. Hawke’s little sister stayed in the Free Marches to help other mages from the Kirkwall Circle. Aveline is still guard-captain. I’m pretty sure Kirkwall would fall into the sea if she quit her job.”

I released the breath I’d been holding. So Hawke existed. Please please please let it be a femHawke. If it was a male I would so try to sleep with him when he came to Skyhold. I asked Varric a few other questions, but I never got a grasp of Hawke’s gender or abilities - I knew he/she wasn’t a mage at least but I still had no idea if it was a default version or one I would recognize. Feeling defeated at this line of questioning I decided it was time to part ways. “Thanks for talking with me, I’ll catch you later.” 

“I’m on my way to the tavern, you’re more than welcome to join me,” Varric offered as I was turning away. “We could play a few games of Wicked Grace.”

“Perhaps another night,” I called over my shoulder. “I don’t have the funds or the alcoholic fortitude to go up against you yet.”

“Fair enough, but you both owe me.” 

After a final wave, I headed back towards my cabin. I hesitated at one of the corners not quite remembering which way to turn and both directions feeling as if they were pulling me to them, but eventually went left as the sense of it felt more familiar. It was the correct guess and I soon walked in to find Nyx sitting in the middle of the floor with a wine glass in her hand. 

After greeting me, she informed me that she had met up with Solas and arranged for our first magic lessons. I was pleased by this news as I was excited to learn. I had always wanted to have magical powers and it was one of the things I daydreamed about most often. To have the opportunity to actually cast spells was beyond amazing to me. I learned too that what had pulled me at that corner was the sense of her and Solas. I couldn’t tell between the two quite yet, other than she felt more familiar. That news seemed to disappoint her for she spoke on how Solas and I appeared to her and she was curious about what she was like. 

We drank after that, not much, but enough that I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

*

I woke feeling refreshed and ready for the day. 

The day that I would spend in Haven. Haven. As in the town in Dragon Age. And I would be learning magic. I felt a fresh rush of excitement and fear hit me.

I took a few deep breaths and rolled out of bed. Nobody had been by with food or fresh water yet and Nyx was still sound asleep. With nothing else to do I performed a few morning stretches to warm my limbs up. The timid knock on the door that came moments later was a welcoming sound and upon answering it I found two female elves there. They were as polite and respectful as the first elven girl they had sent to the cabin, but much more confident around me. I managed to get their names, but beyond that they were dismissive and frustratingly resistant to any of my attempts to help. Once I noticed Nyx was awake I sat down beside her and then quickly realized that was a big mistake. She made it apparent that she was not a morning person and in no mood to socialize. Rebuffed by both parties I sat quietly on the bed until satisfied with the state of the cabin the servants excused themselves. 

“Will you be requiring any else this morning m’ladies?” Osaira, the blonde one asked with a low bow. 

I touched a hand to my temple. “Yes, please stop bowing. You have taken excellent care of us Osaira and Eltina and I thank you for everything that you’ve done already, but the bowing is just unnerving.”

“Of course, my lady. Thank you, my lady.”

They bowed. I sighed. 

After they left I turned towards Nyx who was still half-buried under her pillow and gave her shoulder a light pat. “I don’t know how people get used to that. Anyways, good morning sunshine! Let’s see what they brought for breakfast.”

Breakfast was a heavy platter of grapes, apple slices, fresh baked bread with oats, and a mystery meat that I would never question, but tasted delightful. Food is one of my favorite things and since its track record of improving moods was about 100 to nothing in my book I stacked a plate full and brought it over to Nyx. She accepted the plate with a mumbled thanks, but I sensed that she still wasn’t up to chatting so I started about my morning in silence until the food worked her mood over. She did not speak to me until long after I had eaten and bathed. I was in the process of trying to rewrap the long fold of cloth they called a breast-band for the fourth time when she finally took pity on me and offered to help. 

Up early and with no certain plans we had decided to visit Solas and see if it was too early to begin our magic lessons, though I harbored my doubts he was even up yet. He had always struck me as a bit of a night owl. In the end that plan came to naught as Cassandra paid us a visit and we ended up accompanying her to the chantry to what I knew would be my first and then hopefully one of very few wartable meetings if things went to plan. 

*

We entered the same room that had we had visited yesterday except the large table was covered with a map of Thedas instead of the gigantic writ of the late Divine. My eyes immediately flitted to the only male figure in the room and felt an unwelcome flash of electric heat go through me as our eyes met. Commander Rutherford Cullen. I had told Nyx that the only romantic interest I was at risk for was a male Hawke, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t also have a weakness for blonde ex-templars and man, did he look even better than his video-game counterpart. His hair was a short mess of dirty-blonde curls that stood up a bit in the middle as if he had been wearing a helmet earlier and he sported a decent 5’0 clock shadow. His brow was low which made his look intense and the game had not done his strong jaw and slightly clefted chin justice. With his dented-well used armor and black cloak he looked every inch a warrior. And by that I meant I thought he could easily pick me up and toss me flat across the wartable to have his way with me. 

At that thought, I quickly dropped my eyes. 

I caught Cassandra in the process of introducing us as Nyx and Cinder and I figured if I was going to change it there was no better time than the present. I took a deep breath.“It’s Audrey actually.” She glared at me and I shrugged.“What? You really thought Cinder was a name? Just how strange do you see us Dalish I have to wonder.”

There was no reaction to my comment other than a nervous smile from a dark skinned lady that was soon formerly introduced as Lady Josephine Montilyet, our chief ambassador and diplomat. She was different from her video-game counterpart as well with a delicate balance of strong defined features and gentleness. She had a devastating natural beauty to her, oddly enhanced by the garish clothing she wore. Taking in Leliana, our spymaster and Cassandra I realized how ridiculously attractive everyone here was and feeling suddenly bashful I dropped my eyes to study the map more in depth. It was a nice map and the first full one I’d seen here. I traced my fingers lightly over its surface, noting the spots on that map that already had pins or other markers on it and vaguely listened to the conversation around me. 

“It is a pleasure to meet each of you and I look forward to our cooperation,” Nyx said with her usual diplomacy. I knew it was my turn to speak as well then. 

“Yes, I look forward to getting to know each of you better,” I said sincerely. “Cassandra mentioned that you were aware of the fact that our marks would need more power to close the Breach and were considering approaching the rebel mages?”

At the mention of mages, Cullen’s reaction was instant. “An option I oppose. The templars could serve just as well.”

I frowned. His distaste and distrust of mages left a bitterness in my mouth and it was definitely something I would be working with him on. Now was not the time though and eager to finish the meeting I cut Leliana off before she could argue with him. “I’m open to either. Which one will speak to us?” 

“Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition - and you two specifically,.” Josephine explained with a little pause to gage our reaction. 

I knew how I was meant to respond. I had played the early portions of the game so many times I almost had the script memorized, but pure recitation wasn’t necessary here. Nyx and I were to be key members in this organization and that meant thinking outside the parameters and our comfort zone.

“I figured as much. We heard what some people have begun to call us - two dalish elves - the ‘Heralds of Andraste’,” I replied with a shrug. “The Chantry’s strength is in their united belief however so we just need a way to disrupt that. Sow a little doubt amongst the ranks. There must be someone out there willing to listen.” I gave Leliana a pointed look. “Spymaster?”

Her expression was surprised at first and she studied me with some intrigue. I did my best to keep my face neutral and after a few seconds she offered up her information with no hesitancy. “There is someone, yes. A chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”

“How soon could a meeting with her be arranged?”

“I am not certain,” Leliana stated. “Mother Giselle is tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe. There is a large amount of infighting in the area between the templars and rebel mages. We would not feel confident sending either of you there until the area has been declared safe.”

I glanced at Nyx to see if she had caught that. She met my eyes before she stepped forward to lay a timid hand on the wartable. There was strength in her voice, however. “Either of us? That phrasing intones that you intend to keep one of us behind here in Haven.” 

“You are the only two that are able to close the rifts. We cannot risk losing both of you in the field,” Cullen said in a tone that brokered no arguments. 

But she wasn’t taking that. 

“Then you risk us accomplishing nothing. Do not think for a moment that the rifts will only be contained to this small area. A tear in the veil will affect all of Thedas as I am sure Solas has warned you. There will be rifts in the Hinterlands and neither Audrey nor I can close them alone; only together.” Her hand lay flat on the table now and she was leaning into it. “We both must go.”

The commander shifted uncomfortably and then nodded. Josephine was quick to fill the lull. “I agree that once the area is secured it would be most beneficial to have both of you present. We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you two are better suited than anyone to recruit them.”

“We’ll look for other opportunities that could expand our influence as well,” I said, taking charge again. “In the meantime, Nyx and I should begin training in preparation to enter the field. I’m thinking one week for the scouts to establish contact and create a hold for us?”

Leliana gave Cassandra a sideways glance before she answered. “Yes, but it would be another few weeks before the area-”

“Until we are able to approach the templars or mages and close the Breach, I doubt the area will ever be deemed safe enough. If you just want us to close rifts then lock us up and just let us out when you find one and secure it. Otherwise, let us be more. We can do this. Trust us. When should we be prepared to leave?”

Her shoulders squared. “Within two weeks I would say.”

Eyes met eyes across the table and with that understanding reached the plans were finalized. The meeting finally adjourned, Josephine led us to her office to arrange lessons on the details of etiquette and aristocracy with her the following morning and also to bestow the first installment of our weekly allowance. It was a heavier coin bag than I expected, but given the list of items we would need to purchase for the upcoming venture into the field it would all be needed. Dismissed from Josephine’s office, Nyx and I made a hurried stop at our cabin for lunch and some bladder relief before we left again to seek out our first magic lesson.

*

I thought our first lesson would be fireballs and lightning bolts, but boy was I wrong. Turns out, magic was a bit more complicated than waving my hand and conjuring fire out of thin air. 

I followed Nyx to Solas’s cabin and he must have been expecting us, for he opened the door before we even had a chance knock. We stood in silence for a few heartbeats, each looking at the other before I finally realized that neither of them planned on speaking first. “Good afternoon! I hope we’re not disturbing you,” I said cheerily. 

It seemed to rouse them from their thoughts and returning my greeting with a pleasant smile he stepped aside to let us in. 

I had always pictured Solas to be a frugal person with very little material wealth, but the state of his cabin was still shockingly bare. There was a small pile of clothes at the foot of his bed and then two books on a table which he indicated we should have a seat around. Once we were settled he wasted no time in getting started with the lesson. 

“Today's lesson will be mostly discussion,” he said, and I groaned inwardly while trying to keep my face the picture of interest. “I'm sure many would prefer that I begin training you in offensive and defensive skills immediately and any other teacher might. _They _would begin you with a simple fire spell and teach you the purpose and theory of what you are manipulating later. I however, feel it is important to begin with a foundation before you set to building. If you are able to grasp the concepts quickly you will have enough knowledge to move forward with casting at our next lesson."__

__In a fluid motion he set the two books before Nyx and I and arranged a bottle of ink for us to share along with two quills. I stared at the small bottle for a few seconds as he went on, confused on where he had materialized it from. It certainly hadn’t been on the table earlier._ _

__“These will be your spell books. Inside you shall keep notes and formulas for your spells. Eventually, you will have no need of them, either because you have achieved a state of complacency with your spell repertoire or because you have memorized and learned enough that you will be able to calculate without reference.”_ _

__Calculate? Now that was a word that set off alarm bells in my head. Math had never really been a strong suit of mine. He had my full attention now._ _

__“Not all novice or junior mages will carry a spell book, as I'm sure you've never seen one of your keepers or firsts with one,” he said and for a blip of a moment his tone changed, but then he carried on as normal, “but since I will be teaching you so much in such a short time I believe it will be most practical for you two to carry one for the time. You may sort and categorize it however you will. Some prefer to separate it by the main element they are manipulating while others tend to remember what part to reference best by class of spell.”_ _

__He opened his mouth to take a breath and I shot my hand up. I wanted clarification about what I was about to get myself into. The gesture obviously confused him, to the point that it showed on his face, and I only remembered then that hand raising was probably more of a voting system here than an indication that one wished to speak._ _

__He was polite about it though. “Yes?” He prompted as his face relaxed back into its neutral mask._ _

__“I’m sorry, but what exactly are we putting in these books?” I asked, dropping my hand to point at the volume before me. “I thought magic was just energy we pulled from the Fade, that we willed into a shape or form here. What’s this about calculations?”_ _

__He smiled before he answered and over the next few hours that he lectured I came to truly see how much he approved of questions or any sign of a willingness to learn and understand. It was lucky then, that Nyx and I were not silent students and participated often during his lecture. She was extraordinarily intelligent compared to me. Slower to speak and ask questions than I perhaps, but the conclusions and connections she drew from the information provided were ideas I would have never thought of and my admiration for her grew. I feared that most of what he presented I wouldn’t fully understand until I began to physically practice it. In (muggle?) school I had a hard time grasping concepts until they became tangible to me in some way._ _

__But even with all the extra effort seemingly involved at the end of the day, magic was still magic; which made the lesson infinitely more interesting than talking about physics or theoretical math despite the fact that the concepts we were covering were frighteningly similar. I would be lying too, if I didn’t admit that his voice helped a great deal. It was almost hypnotic and I spent some parts of the lecture paying more attention to it than his words. Trying to seek out the slight inflections he used to emphasize a point or the tiny modifications to his tone whenever he was pleased or passionate._ _

__By the end of our first session together, my spellbook was a few pages thicker than I had expected it to be. He had outlined his lesson plan to us and based on that knowledge I had decided to sort my spellbook by type of spell as he had suggested. During the few peeks I had given Nyx’s journal it looked like she meant to organize it by formulas, listing all the basic ones we had covered today in the very front. Hers looked very neat, where mine already sported ink blots and crumpled pages. There was a trail of ink from the bottle to my journal as well. I sighed, hoping my time to shine would come when we got around to actually practicing._ _

__“Tomorrow’s lesson will not be as long and we will focus on applying what you have studied today in a practical manner,” Solas said with assurance and I couldn’t help but beam up at him._ _

__“So, we’ll be learning how to cast?” I confirmed._ _

__“Presumably. We will begin with learning how to manifest and form energy, but it is possible that you could begin learning your first offensive spell as early as tomorrow.”_ _

__I almost whooped with joy, but contented myself with a hidden self-five under the table. The lesson over for the day we made our way back to the cabin in no hurry. It felt good to actually be out in the cold after so many hours cooped up in a cabin and the motion of walking was pleasant as well. The smell of food as we entered home was delightful and I wasted no time in getting myself set up with a plate, though I did make sure the would be enough left to take to the stables tonight. I had a bargain to fulfill after all. I was worried about slipping out unnoticed at first, but then Nyx took a bath and sliding a few goods into an extra sheet I hurried out to my first fight lesson._ _

__In truth, there was no reason I couldn’t tell her, it would honestly probably even be better too. She had just as much right to learn self-defense as I did, yet somehow I didn’t want to share. I liked having this secret. It felt like the only one I had really, the only part of my life that was still private in a way. I would have to tell her soon I guessed, but until then I could enjoy the feeling._ _

__*_ _

__Some time later, I slipped into the darkened stables and saw Gilbert’s bulky form silhouetted on one of the hay-bales. I raised my hand in greeting._ _

__“Hey, fancy seeing you here.”_ _

__His face scrunched up. “But we arranged to meet here.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah we did.” I sighed and handed him the bundled up food. “I managed to get this. Good enough?”_ _

__“Oh wow, this is high quality stuff. I bet the Heralds eat like this,” he looked at me suddenly and I shrank. “You ain’t stealing from them are yah?”_ _

__And that’s when it dawned on me that Gilbert had no clue as to who I was. I bit back a laugh and avoided his eyes.“Mmmm, no. They gave it to me. I’m one of the servant girls for them.”_ _

__“Oh! That’s amazing! Tell me what are they like? I ain’t never seen them.”_ _

__“Uhh, well they’re really...nice.”_ _

__“And beautiful? I heard they had that sort of wild beauty that only Dalish elves can have. I was told that nobody from the city could ever match that kind of thing.”_ _

__“Oh ummmm, yeah. I guess.” I said lamely._ _

__He ripped into a piece of bread and looked at me expectantly. His mouth was full and his cheeks puffed out noticeably like a gerbils. “Hey you got the same kind of face tattoo that they have.”_ _

__“Oh, yes. That’s because...I wanted-, well, I just thought,” I looked at Gilbert’s boyish face and open expression and could not for the life of me figure out why I was having such a hard time coming up with a story. I took a deep breath and restarted. “I got that tattoo because they inspired me. That’s the true reason I”m looking to be trained. So that I can help defend the Heralds.“_ _

__“I guess, but your first reason made more sense. You’re too skinny looking to seem like you’d be any good in a fight,” he replied with a grin._ _

__“Food and a woman, no wonder you’re sneaking off,” a smooth voice suddenly drawled from the entryway. I whipped my head around at the sound. A man around Gilbert’s age strutted in with all the finesse of a catwalk model. He had dark hair, a full beard and bright green eyes. I instantly recognized him as the victor in the ring from the night before. A silver hoop pierced his left ear and folding his arms he touched it playfully._ _

__“Hugh,” Gilbert exclaimed and I turned back to glare at him._ _

__“I thought you said not to tell anyone. I kinda figured you wouldn’t either.”_ _

__“I didn’t though!”_ _

__Hugh shrugged. “He is right, he didn’t _outright _tell me. But when my friend turns down a night of cards and drinking to ‘get some rest’ you can’t really expect me to not think something’s up.” He strolled over a took a seat next to me on the haybale. “So what _are _we up to tonight?”_____ _

______“He’s teaching me how to defend myself,” I said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This brute?” Hugh chuckled. “You couldn’t have picked a worse teacher. And before you get offended Gil, it’s not because of the way you would teach. It’s because of the way you look….and fight. I mean really? Look how big you are compared to her. You really think that your fighting style is going to benefit her? She can’t just brute force her way through everything like you do, she needs to learn speed and deflection.” He turned to me. “And I am willing to help you with that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I folded my arms. “And what do you want in return?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“The pleasure of being included whenever you two have these meetings.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______That sounded easy enough. “Fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Perfect!” He exclaimed and stood suddenly, hauling me up by the arm with him. “We’ll start by having you show me what you know. Shouldn’t take too long I expect and then will work from that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He had me demonstrate my idea of punches, jabs, and kicks and then tsking with his tongue showed me how wrong I was in not just my form, but also my technique. Following his corrections he had me demonstrate it a few more times before he was satisfied with my form. From there he put me through a series of agility tests to mark how quick I could turn, dip, dodge, tag, and so on. He remarked that I was at least decently quick and that he might be able to do something with me after all._ _ _ _ _ _

______Gilbert was called upon to be our model that night so that Hugh could demonstrate the perfect impact strikes along the face and body. I saw Hugh’s hands linger on Gilbert’s muscular form more than once though his friend seemed oblivious to the fact. After that, Hugh ran me through a few blocks and throws that used the opponent's weight against themselves. He walked me through the motions a few times and then had me practice on him. I quickly learned he was going to be the type of teacher to make me really earn it though and I ended up in the haybale more than once until Gilbert intervened on my behalf, arguing that Hugh should let me get it at least once. Hugh decided that was enough for the evening of course._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can’t do everything for you. If you really want to succeed you’ll have to improve your accuracy and strength on your own time,” he said reclining back onto one of the haybales next to Gilbert._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’ll come back tomorrow?” Gilbert asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You bet, I’m determined to learn this,” I responded, nodding my head to Gilbert’s follow-up questions about bringing food tomorrow as well. ‘By the way, where did you two learn to fight?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hugh waved his hand dismissively. “Self-taught. Gilbert has younger sisters, and well, I just have an easily wounded pride. We both had something to defend and found a way to defend it. Much like you I guess. Now get off to bed, I can’t imagine the heralds tolerate any lateness.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I smiled and then hurried back off to my cabin. Nyx was awake when I entered and noticing my disheveled appearance started to ask a few questions which I deflected as best I could. Again, I don’t know why I didn’t tell her; I just knew I liked the feeling of not telling her. I bathed quickly and then crawled into bed beside her, pressing my cold toes against the warmth of her leg. She shrieked and batted me away. Talk found us then as we discussed everything that had happened today, our fears about going to the Hinterlands, and then just how delicious we found the food to be._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eventually sleep found us._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not plan on having chapters this long again. This took forever and I'm still not satisfied with everything! I will however, probably only update Sun once a month for a bit until I have more of Moon's story flushed out. 
> 
> I always love to hear what you think! Thank you again for reading.


	8. My First Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice makes perfect and friends

It was my third day waking up in Thedas and I was falling in love with my life here. I loved how the rays of sunlight hit against the frosted windows of our cabin. I loved how Nyx growled and flipped over when I poked her to see if she was awake. I loved how the embers glowed faintly in the fireplace, the fire forgotten in the night. I loved too how sensitive my elven ears were. 

I sat up, stretched, and then quickly slipped out of bed to answer the door before Osaira or Eltina could even knock. 

“Good morning,” I said in greeting. 

If they were surprised, they gave no reaction of it. Simply returned my greeting with a low bow and then bustled past me on my invitation, to stir the fire and tidy the place. Something was amiss though. I closed the door and folded my arms, thinking. 

Food. They hadn’t brought the trays. 

“Osaira,” I called and the older blonde one turned to me. “Is it too early for breakfast?”

“I apologize, but we were instructed not to bring breakfast here this morning m’lady,” she said with another bow. 

“Oh. Do you know why?”

Her jaw tensed, but to her credit she did not sigh or huff as I would have, but simply clasped her hands and begin to explain with the patience of one explaining something to a child. “I believe m’lady it is because you will be taking breakfast with the Lady Montilyet this morning. If m’lady would like two breakfasts I can of course ran a tray to you anon, but the Lady Montilyet was expecting your ladyships shortly.”

I slapped my forehead. We had arranged to meet Josephine for lessons this morning. I just hadn’t expected it to be this early and to involve breakfast, but of course the diplomat in her would want to see us well fed. “You’re right Osaira, I’m sorry. Thank you for reminding me. And please stop bowing.” 

She nodded, bowed, and returned to work. My stomach rumbled and I looked over at Nyx’s sleeping form. It was time to wake the beast. 

“Nyx, good morning!” I said gently rocking her. “It’s time to get-”

She turned suddenly and violently. Glowered at me through one cracked eye and then flipped back over. The death threat clear. 

But I was hungry.

“Nyx, we gotta meet-”

“Ughhhhh,” she growled and flipping back over, used both hands and feet to shove me off the bed. She pulled the covers over her head after. I looked to Osaira and Eltina for help wondering if they had any sort of experience with this kind of thing, but they avoided eye contact. Once they had finished laying our clothes out for the day, they bowed and left. It was up to me. 

“Josephine and breakfast are waiting for us,” I said from a distance. “Get up, get up sleepy head.”Time to shine, time to eat. C’mon beautiful.”

She snapped up in bed. Short black hair all a mess and eyes full of sleep and rage. With a violent movement she threw the covers off herself. “Fucking hell alright, Audrey. Just. Fucking. Shut. Up.”

I smiled to myself and doing my best to avoid her, got ready in complete silence. She marched far ahead of me as we headed towards Josephine’s office. 

We were at Josephine’s for most of the morning. Training on etiquette, royal lineages, and history. I knew most of the general details from my playthrough of the earlier games, but it was nice to hear the knowledge validated. I had far less interest in learning and memorizing family lines and titles and very little of that information stuck except for the complicated succession line of Fereldan. And even then that only interested me because I was hungry for details on the Hero of Fereldan. Sadly, in the realm of politics there was little to know of the Hero of Fereldan other than she put Queen Anora on the throne over Maric’s bastard child, the Grey Warden Alistair. That the Hero of Ferledan did not factor into politics more made me begin to think that she had not survived the archdemon during the blight. I was too afraid to ask outright though. 

After Josephine’s lesson we returned to the cabin to drop our notes and books off and grab a bite of lunch. Nyx walked amicably beside me now, having gotten over the morning sometime ago. 

“So do you think we’re actually going to get to cast today?” I asked. “I mean yesterday was so much theory and I just don’t know if I can cram anymore into my skull until I test a little of it out. You know, to help me understand it.”

“He’s teaching us outside today. I think he definitely plans to have us do something that involves interacting with the Fade on a more conscious level,” she said with a shrug.

“So what, like feeling the veil? Taking energy from it?”

She looked me dead in the eye. “Presumably.”

We both cracked at that and stumbled, giggling, into our cabin. 

*

Solas was irritatingly tight lipped about his lesson plan for us today and though I pestered him with questions I got little more than “you’ll see” or “be patient” for answers. He was not ready to speak until he had led us to a clearing a ways outside of town. Far past where the templars and the good Commander Cullen practiced. 

“Are you ready to begin?” He asked, smiling like he had a secret he couldn’t wait to share. 

“Yes,” I said, burbling with excitement. “How do we start?”

“I’m getting to that.”

He folded his hands behind his back and spoke in a more serious tone. “Magic is a part of this world, but it is separate from it because of the Veil. As a mage you must reach through the Veil to grasp at the energy there, bring it across, and manifest it here. You will have an easier time understanding this concept because of how easily you can sense magical energy already. Here, pay attention to what you feel."

I looked around. I felt slightly cold and I felt the weight of my cloak on my shoulders. I felt tendrils of hair that had escaped its braid on my face and neck. All physical things. 

"Focus. Feel my magic, feel the mark, feel the magic and how they differ from each other,” he said. 

Oh. I opened myself and sensed Nyx and Solas, the mark on my hand and on Nyx’s. They tingled there on the edge of my peripheral. Nyx had mentioned that they all felt different to her, that Solas and I were different in the way we felt, but to me it was all the same still. 

“Now, single me out,” he commanded. 

It took me a bit, but I did. He was the larger of the two auras I sensed. Heavier in a way. He lit a flame in his hand and I felt it the same as I saw it. He told us to trace where the energy had come from and I put my hand out reaching. Trying to grasp the threads I felt there. 

“It’s not a physical movement,” he reprimanded with a shake of his head. “Sense the magic, trace the vibrations you feel until you become aware of the barrier that separates us from the Fade.”

I sighed, feeling awkward as I tried to trace the magic with eyes open and arms by my side. It felt like it should involve my body more. So I stared upwards, trying to focus on nothing that I saw, but everything that I felt. Everything that tingled, and eventually I found it. The vibrating energy that was all around me and once I became aware of it, I was able to plunge into it. It felt like diving through a wave. Blunt, but refreshing. There was a swarm of energy all around me now, ready to be plucked and molded by my hands. Now that we had both crossed the veil, he taught us how to draw the energy from there, to pull it inside of ourselves and then direct its force and shape. 

Nyx was a quick study and she soon had a small bloom of fire in her palm.

I looked back at my own palm and bit my tongue, focusing on the well of energy I had pulled inside me. It needed heat and air to turn. I pictured a roar of fire in my palm, warm enough to illuminate my fingertips and then I threw air into the mixture.

It worked. A little too well. 

I flailed backwards, startled by the large flame that had burst forward, so hot and large that the tip of it was licking at the pine branches above. Toppling, I landed ass first into the snow behind me, the fire vanishing from my palm. There was a moment of stunned silence and then Nyx burst out laughing. Solas and I both stared at her, but soon I was laughing too. It took us a bit before we stopped, but it had helped. The anxiety about our lesson gone, the rest of the time went smoothly. We learned how to be human flamethrowers before he called it quits for the day. A good thing since Nyx and I were both exhausted. I smiled the whole walk back and knew I was grinning like an idiot when Cassandra called us over as we passed by. We said farewell to Solas and headed over. 

“Good afternoon. How are your lessons going?” Cassandra said, resting her practice sword against her thigh. She was by the same practice dummies that she had always liked in the game. Here though, you could see the abuse they plainly took.

“Better than I hoped,” Nyx said in answer. “Solas has been a very thorough teacher and we have covered a wide range of topics already. We began our first offensive spell casting today and we’ve both achieved moderate success on that. We can melt snow and burn wood at any rate. I think he’ll be moving us onto a wider range when we meet tomorrow.”

Cassandra relaxed. “That is good to hear. I know there is a lot to learn and you have only a short while in which to do so. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

“Actually,” Nyx said, “I did want to know where we could grab some supplies for our venture into the Hinterlands? What supplies you would recommend we bring?”

“Of course. Much of what you will need will be issued to from the Inquisition's own stock, such as a tents, bedrolls, waterskins, and so on. I would recommend bringing your own supplies of potions, clothes, armor, and weapons. What would you like to know more about first?”

“Erm, I suppose where we could get armor and weapons?” 

“Harrit. He is our blacksmith here. You can find him by the stables.”

“Oh, we could check in on the progress of our staves that Solas commissioned for us!” I piped in. 

“That would be nice,” Nyx said. “What sort of armor should we get? I’m afraid we aren’t too familiar with what would work best for our fighting styles. I thought mages usually fought without any?”

“It is your choice. I would recommend a light armor. Perhaps one of leather,” Cassandra offered. 

I pictured Hawke’s Dragon Age 2 endgame armor as a mage and wondered if that would be a possibility and while I was daydreaming the conversation moved on without me. Once we had all the information we needed we bid Cassandra adieu and headed towards the blacksmith. He was the closest on our list of locations and would also need our requisitions the earliest if we hoped to have them filled before we departed Haven. 

Harrit was a gruff man. Curt, but sweet. He helped us pick out the best designs for us in terms of armor. Both of us decided to go with a slight elven feel: light armor and curved padding in earthy tones. We gave him our measurements and he promised to have it delivered before we left. The earlier the better. Since it would be made out of leather we would need to break it in a bit ourselves. We saw the progress on our staves as well. They were made of dark wood and both had unique designs. Nyx’s was a straight cut from top to bottom, though the top held a well sized red orb within a cage of branches. Mine spiraled thickly around a red diamond shape before straightening into an almost pointed end. 

After Harrit’s we stopped by the tailor shop. It was run by an older gentlemen and his daughter who were both pleased to see us, the Heralds of Andraste, much to Nyx’s annoyance. The older man was very talkative and we were there much longer than we needed to be selecting our wardrobe for the trip. He was very helpful, as he had knowledge about the climate we would encounter outside of Haven so that we could dress accordingly. He promised us it warmed up at the mountainbase and so while our cloaks were heavy and fur lined, the clothing beneath it was a bit lighter and we would just layer it up until we reached the Hinterlands. 

We decided to skip the apothecary for now and headed home as the sun began to set. Today had been very productive and though I wanted to do nothing more but sleep I gathered up my things after dinner and headed out towards the stables. 

*

“Tonight is mystery meat, and let’s keep it a mystery, some strange fruit I don’t recognize, honeyed buns, and sweetened nuts,” I said, spilling the food I had swiped from my cabin out before Gilbert and Hugh. 

The larger man fell upon it hungrily and I sat back against a haybale to stifle a yawn. Hugh watched me.

“I had no idea the life of a servant was so taxing,” he said. “All that threading and sewing and sitting on cushions must be very wearisome.”

“Sitting and sewing? That’s what you think I do all day?” I laughed. “Anways who are you to judge? Why are you and Gilbert even here?”

Hugh flicked a thumb against ear, ringing the silver hoop there. “To enjoy the fine attentions of the ladies of course, but originally we were brought along as part of the hired guard for the Revered Mother, Teresa. May she forever rest in peace in the arms of Andraste and the Maker. When the Breach happened we stayed to help with that. Gilbert took up residence here in the stables and I’ve been busy on patrols and sentry shifts”

“And as of tomorrow will officially be part of the Inquisition Army!” Gilbert said, with a mouth half full of bread. 

“Under Commander Cullen?” I asked, sitting upright.

He nodded and then seemed to think better of it. “Well, no not directly I guess. We’ll be going in as foot soldiers really so we’ll be reporting to a captain most likely.”

I bit my lip. I had wanted to approach Cullen and Cassandra more often during our time here and attempt to get to know them both better, but it would be riskier now if Gilbert and Hugh were to be found in the area. I didn’t really want them recognizing me as one of the Heralds. 

“Do you know him or something?” Hugh asked with a little smirk. 

I stared back for a moment and then raised an eyebrow. “I’ve _seen _him.”__

__“Ahhh, yes,” Hugh responded, sneaking a glance over at Gilbert who was now washing his hands in the horse trough. Even under the thick shirt Gilbert wore, it was easy to see the way his muscles worked. Hugh swallowed. “Well, should we get started tonight? I was thinking I’d show you one or two new defensive moves.”_ _

__I nodded and following his lead, stood and took a place across from him. He reran me through the moves and efforts he had last night and then taught me one more defensive throw and redirection of force that would leave an opponent open. Speed and fluidity stressed._ _

__“You are small and you are weak. You cannot win with force. You must use theirs against them. Redirect it, make it flow elsewhere, and then strike at their openings. Bring them down to your size,” Hugh said, over and over until it was a mantra in my head._ _

__I’m not sure how long we practiced, but I was sweaty by the end of it. Weary beyond belief I dragged myself to my cabin and forced myself to bathe before collapsing into a dead heap on the bed. If I dreamed, I had forgotten it by morning._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene of Audrey trying to wake Nyx up is 100% based off me trying to wake my best friend up. 
> 
> Protip: Never use a spray bottle. Cranky morning people put a lot more effort into chasing you down than you would think.


	9. My Pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summary of Haven living and learning

For the next week and a half our days fell into a predictable schedule. Every morning Nyx and I would meet Josie for breakfast and lessons. Afterwards we would find ways to get involved with the Haven community by visiting the Inquisition Quartermaster, a stern woman by the name of Threnn. She would usually task us with aiding in the clinic which I detested or would set us up on a foraging route to gather herbs and other supplies. Lunch after was always a private thing. Just Nyx and I wolfing down food in our cabin before we would meet Solas for our magic lesson.

I still enjoyed my lessons with him. But as they grew in difficulty I started leaving practice each day feeling more defeated than proud. Conjuring and manipulating fire had been easy in comparison to the requirements of spells dealing with lightening. It was easy enough to generate the electricity, but the precision and control required to direct it was something else all together and my strikes often went wildly off target. Having a staff introduced into the mix a few days later did nothing to improve my abilities or mood and my frustrated sighs quickly turned into something more vocal. 

After our training session with Solas, Nyx would leave to study with Adan and I had a chunk of free time to myself. Most days the time was devoted to building up my strength and agility as Hugh had made it clear it was something I would need to do on my own time. I would also use this time to practice what I had learned the night before. On the days when I returned from magic lessons with white ears and fingertips and little tolerance for being outside any longer I would spend my free time huddled by the fire instead and do only a few exercises before I spent the remainder of my time reading or studying. I also made sure to catch up with Cullen and Cassandra on the regular even if it was just a brief conversation or exchange of “how are yous” as I passed them by. Leliana was a bit harder to catch and I only ran into her once when she was praying. I hadn’t meant to interrupt but she had turned to me asking for answers from the Maker. It was the first slip she had shown that the loss of Divine Justinia had affected her deeply. 

“You speak for Andraste, no? What does the Maker’s prophet have to say about all of this? What’s His game?”

“You’re asking me?” I said even though there was no one else around. 

She huffed, eyes shifting. “You probably don’t even worship the Maker. Lucky. He asks a lot.”

I shrugged. I was never good in these sort of situations, where words had to be chosen with some care and delicacy. I always ended up putting my foot into my mouth or making it worse. Still, I wanted to be a comfort if I could, in presence at least. She was looking at a carving of Andraste so I stared at it too. 

“The Chantry teaches that the Maker abandoned us,” she said after a few moments. “He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all. Our lives. Our deaths. Justinia gave Him everything she had, and He let her die.”

“I’m sorry, Leliana. I know she was very dear to you.”

“Not just me. All of us. She was the Divine. She led the faithful. She was their heart! If the Maker doesn’t intervene to save the best of His servants, what good is He? I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say you are. I thought I was fulfilling His purpose for me, working with the Divine, helping people. But now she’s dead. It was all for nothing. Serving the Maker meant nothing.”

“That’s not true!” I said, spinning towards her. I had played Dragon Age Origins many times and I had seen, knew the old Leliana even. The kind hearted soul who didn’t want to hurt others, who only did to protect those who needed it and I felt a deep hatred then for Divine Justinia if it was all her doing for turning Leliana into who she was now; a woman who killed in the name of religion, whose sole purpose was to further the chantry’s influence and reach, who served one woman and not the people. “I don’t know why the Maker took her, but I do know that what you’ve done hasn’t been for nothing. Even if she is gone, her ideas are not and that’s what matters. This Inquisition needed to happen and it isn’t for nothing. We are going to make a huge difference in the world over the next year, I just know it. If you want to lose faith that’s fine, but don’t lose hope. It’s too early in the game for that.”

She sighed heavily, but none of the tension left her body and she shook her head dismissively. “I apologize. I regret that I let you see me like this. My troubles are my burden to bear. Do not worry yourself, this was just a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again. Good evening, Herald.”

I watched her go with some discomfort and then headed off to dinner. Like all the other meals, I always ate with Nyx. Most nights we would eat at the cabin and discuss the day or any insecurities, worries, or thoughts we had; but every once in awhile I could convince her to head to the tavern for stew and the added company of Varric. No matter where we ate that night, my after sundown routine remained the same. I would bundle the extra food off our trays and head down to the stables to meet Gilbert and Hugh. I had worried that once they started training with the army my fighting lessons would disappear but so far I hadn’t missed a night. If one couldn’t make it, the other was still there. 

Most nights it was both and I treasured my time with them. Gilbert and Hugh felt like the only true friends I had here. People who genuinely liked me because of who I was and the only individuals, other than Nyx, who I had gotten to know from scratch. Everyone else I associated with regularly I had some sort of previous knowledge on their likes or dislikes. It made the friendship feel faux almost. As if I was tricking them all into liking me. One day I would need to come clean with Gilbert and Hugh. I was lucky enough that they hadn’t spotted the mark yet or identified me as the Herald. The servant lie would keep for now, but not forever.

After my private combat lessons I would retire to my cabin, bathe, and fall into a deep sleep. The Fade was there some nights, but not always which I was glad of. I was uneasy there. As if someone was always watching me. I made a mental pin to talk to Solas about it at some point. 

The opportunity came sooner rather than later. Nyx and I had just been informed that we would be leaving for the Crossroads to meet with Mother Giselle tomorrow morning. Since the meeting had been held in place of our usual lesson with Josephine we now had an ample amount of free time on our hands, so we ran some last minute errands to gather our remaining needs for the trip before we headed off to our volunteer duties. Nyx took a shift at the clinic, but I hated working there and was much too restless so I found a supply route that needed an extra body on it and headed out to catch up with the group. I was still following the footprints through the snow when I sensed another person nearby. Walking off the trail I soon spotted a familiar figure meticulously extracting a plant, roots and all, from a nearby rockside.

“Hey Solas,” I said drawing closer. “What are you up to?”

“Picking herbs,” he said drily. He put the freshly plucked plant into one of his pouches and met my eyes. 

“Same! I was sent out here to do that as well. Do you mind if I tag along with you?”

“I’m afraid I’ve just finished for the day and will be heading back now.”

I smiled, wondering if it was truly that coincidental or if he was simply trying to avoid me. It was hard to tell with him and truth be told I was indifferent to it at the moment. I dusted the snow off a nearby log and took a seat. “Of course, before you go though do you have a moment to spare? I have a question about the Fade. Mainly that I sense eyes on me when I’m there and well, I’m wondering how concerned I should be.”

That caught his interest. “You have the feeling of being watched?”

I nodded. “I haven’t seen or heard anything, but I’m not exactly sure what I should be expecting either. I know demons are likely to seek me out because they want a foothold on this side, but is it possible that a spirit could seek me out too? Or do I have to go looking for them?”

“Both are a possibility. It depends mostly on what you are bringing with you into the Fade. Emotions are more tangible on that side of the Veil.”

“So probably a demon,” I said chewing my bottom lip. 

He looked momentarily surprised before he smiled. He leaned down beside me, dusting off a spot of his own on the log and then held out a hand to warm it for us both. 

“How do you do that?” I asked. 

He chuckled in return before taking a seat. I expected him to make an old man sound as he plopped down beside me, but he actually felt young there with our shoulders almost touching and I almost blushed at the closeness. “Don’t distract from the subject. What kind of demon do you think you’ve attracted?”

I fidgeted, not wanting to meet his eyes and he was patient with that, letting me find my own moment to speak. 

“A fear demon,” I finally said before pausing again and it was a few moments before I put my thoughts together enough to go on. “I’ve never taken life before and I’m afraid of that first moment when I’ll have to. They told us today that’d we be leaving for the Hinterlands tomorrow and I know what that means and I’m not ready for it and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I want to be. Because I want to help. And I know that taking life is sometimes necessary for that; to protect others. I just- I don’t know why I’m so afraid. I’ve killed spirits already so why is taking a person’s life so much bigger to me? All life is the same isn’t it. So why is this harder to think about.”

“Is it taking life that scares you or the uneven value you place on it?” 

I stared at him. There was no judgement in his eyes which made him easy to look at. All sharp angles and bones, but so warm somehow. I wanted to find the answer in his gaze, but I looked down again. I knew I had to come up it with my own. He waited silently on me. 

I groaned, took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Both. I’m full of so much fear. I’m afraid of enjoying it. I’m afraid of not being able to do it. I’m afraid that I won’t remember the lives I’ve taken. I’m afraid I won’t make them worthwhile. That I’ll fail and everything I’ve taken from them in the name of something better I won’t be able to give back. That the family they fought for will still starve or the friend they wanted to protect will still die. I’m afraid too of not giving the same respect to the spirits. To letting them be sacrificed because of fear or ignorance or because it was just the easy way out. And I fear too of letting all this fear consume me!”

I stood at the last bit, hands thrown wide and when I turned around to look at him I discovered he was smiling. It made me self-conscious suddenly and I lowered my arms. “Is something funny?” I asked a bit surly. 

“From what I have seen of you so far, I think you have little to worry about being consumed by fear or being possessed by a demon,” he said, rising smoothly to stand beside me. He was taller than I, almost Cullen’s height really. “Since the moment you have awoken here I have seen you confront everything brought before you with tenacity and compassion. You have an indomitable spirit that I believe will carry you far on any path you choose to tread.”

Did he just? The corner of my mouth went up.

“Indomitable spirit?” I asked before I could stop myself. 

His smile lifted as he gave me an obvious look over. “Presumably. I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine that the sight would be….fascinating.”

I immediately flushed at that familiar line and a sensation akin to warm electricity flooded into my stomach and limbs. Was he? Did he? No, he was smirking. A joke then. I put a fist on his arm and pushed slightly as if he was an old friend. 

“Ass,” I told him and he looked pleased with himself. 

The bell chimed and I spun back to look towards Haven. Crap. I hadn’t even gathered a single herb yet and at this time the foraging group I was supposed to meet would be heading back now. Looks like I would be on my own unless I wanted to return empty handed. I turned back to Solas. “Thank you for listening, really. It means a lot and I’m sorry to hold you up.”

“Of course, I’m always glad to help. I sense another pressing issue though?”

“Oh. Uhh, it’s nothing. Just me losing track of time. I was supposed to meet up with a group, but they are returning by now so I’ll just be herb hunting alone.”

“Follow me, I have my own route I can show you,” he said and beckoned me after him. It was an unexpected offer and I considered teasing him for it, but thought better of it. I didn’t want to scare him off just as I felt we were becoming friends.

“Hey Solas.”

“Hmm?”

“We’re leaving for the Hinterlands tomorrow morning. Will you come with us?”

“I’d be happy to accompany the Heralds of Andraste. Plus, I feel there should be no lapse in your magical lessons so you should expect to continue training on the road.”

*

Solas and I parted ways on the second platform as I headed to Adan’s to drop off my portion of herbs. The resident alchemist grunted at me when I entered and indicated where I should put my loot with a quick jerk of his chin. Humming to myself I extricated the plants from my bags; some I knew where to place or hang up to dry, but the majority of them I just left on the table unsure of what to do with. I gave him a cheery farewell when I left, but as usual he ignored me. After I dropped the herb bags off I had nothing else to do so I went ahead to the tavern eager to be warm again. 

“Hey Varric,” I said unsurprised to see my favorite dwarf had taken up residence at the corner table already. “What are you up to? Not drinking already I hope.”

“Might help,” he replied defeatedly and gestured to the unbound pages before him. “I’ve been stuck at this one part for days now. Can’t quite figure out how I want to continue the scene. Maybe I’ll just kill one of the characters off.”

I grinned. “Sounds drastic, good thing Nyx and I have a perfect solution to your problem.”

“Oh? I’m almost concerned.”

“Well, I hope it won’t ruin your appetite,” I said as I flagged the waitress over. “I’m not going to say another word about it until she’s here.” 

Turning to the approaching girl I quickly placed an order for a water and whatever was being pulled out of the oven next which ended up being a thick slab of meat and vegetables. I dunno if it was because the tavern was mostly empty around this time of day or because she recognized me as one of the Heralds, but service was quick and she returned in a moments time with both of our orders. 

Once she left, Varric raised his eyebrows at me. “You eat like you’re starving. Slow it down, Trouble or you’ll give yourself a stomach ache.”

“Trouble?” I said in between mouthfuls. “I already have a nickname. Its Cinder.”

Varric paused and eyed me over the steaming bowl. He looked startlingly serious, but after a few moments he smiled. “Alright, I don’t usually let people pick their own, but it suits you so I won’t argue it.”

“Oh.” That caught me off guard. “Suits me? Because of the hair, yeah?”

“It’s good imagery,” he said laughing, “But no. It's because nobody expects the cinders to burn them so they go ahead and reach right in.”

“Alright, well don’t you just have me all figured out,” I winked before lifting my plate to shovel the remaining vegetables and juices off. I set it down with a bit of a clatter and wiped my mouth. “So, I wanna ask about Hawke.”

“Again? You’re starting to sound like you have a case of hero-worshipping. What do you want to know?”

I grinned. He had dropped a few hints at times, enough that I knew it was a female who had a love for bad puns and a talent for archery, but I still couldn’t pinpoint the first name or if it was a character of mine. I really wished I could find a copy of his book – _Tale of the Champion _, but until I could I had to be content with asking Varric hesitant questions about what happened. Now that I was set to leave Haven and might not return I finally thought to hell with it and just outright asked.__

__Silesta. Silesta Hawke. She was mine in name at least. I hoped to be here long enough to meet her._ _

__We chatted a bit more and it seemed like other parts of her life matched up as well. She was referred to as the ‘Merc with the Mouth’ to most and was known to have a free spirit, strong artistic streak, wild unpredictability, and a creative solution for most problems. She was a loyal friend and a loyal patron to the Hanged man with a strong taste for ale and beer. In particular she loved to sing. All these facts about her life seemed to match up nicely with my headcanons about her. She had to be 100% mine and I was both excited and weirded out by that fact. I wondered if the Hero of Fereldan would be someone I knew too._ _

__Varric had just finished regaling me with another tale from Silesta’s life when Nyx walked in._ _

__Nyx always moved with grace. Even though she and I were roughly the same size and build I always felt like a mountain next to her, especially in our magic lessons. She had a natural arc and bend to her body that I couldn’t mimic, like a song controlled her limbs. She practically glided over to us._ _

__“Hey, you’re here! Sorry, we ate already. I was so hungry! I’ll cover your meal to apologize,” I said as she pulled a seat out beside me._ _

__Her smile looked tired. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. My order should be here soon anyways and I paid up front. How have you been Varric?”_ _

__“Eager to be in the know,” the dwarf replied, raising a brow in emphasis. “Cinder here said you both had some news for me, but she wouldn’t say a word until you got here.”_ _

__I squirmed slightly in delight at the use of my nickname. “I figured we should tell him together.”_ _

__Nyx smiled again, turning to receive the bowl of stew she had ordered. She picked a spoonful up and blew on it cautiously. “I suppose. We’ve been officially told that we shall be departing for our first field excursion tomorrow morning.”_ _

__She took a sip and then looked pointedly at the dwarf. “We were hoping that you would like to accompany us?”_ _

__“Bianca and I would be delighted,” Varric responded and looked at me. There was a twinkle in his eye that I enjoyed. “Who else is going?”_ _

__“Cassandra, us three, and Solas.” I said immediately._ _

__“If he accepts,” Nyx supplied and took another spoonful of her meal._ _

__I looked at her a little abashed. I hadn’t thought about her maybe wanting to ask Solas together until after I had already brought it up. Which is why I made sure to wait until she was here to talk to Varric._ _

__“He already did,” I said apologetically. “He was helping me gather herbs today and I already told him about it. He said he’d be happy to assist.”_ _

__Nyx nodded and while she didn’t seem upset, she was certainly quieter for the remainder of the time we were with Varric. Still feeling guilty about the incident I made sure to leave her some alone time with Solas as we headed to our lesson for the day and she seemed up to her usual speed by the end of it. After the magical training she went to see Adan and I returned home. I packed for us both there, folding and strapping in all the materials we would need for the journey. We would each have a large knapsack, several belt pouches, a bedroll, and two saddlebags for us to use. It wouldn’t be a bad load to carry on horseback, but I dreaded it if we ended up needing to go anywhere on foot._ _

__After Nyx and I ate dinner I gathered a tray of food together and then headed towards the stables for what would probably be my last combat lesson for quite some time with Gilbert and Hugh. Nyx smiled knowingly at me as I left, but she never questioned where I went anymore. Just accepted it, perhaps even appreciated the extra alone time it provided her._ _

__*_ _

__Gilbert and Hugh were waiting for me as usual when I arrived. The more intuitive one, Hugh instantly knew something was up._ _

__“The boss found out,” I lied, spreading out the food for Gilbert to enjoy. “She says she understands young love, but past tonight I’m forbidden to return so you won’t be seeing me for awhile. Until I figure out a way to escape again anyways.”_ _

__“Young love?” Hugh arched an eyebrow. “Which one of us are you in love with? Or did you dare to say both?”_ _

__I returned his smirk with a coy smile. “Well, I chose the more attractive one of course.”_ _

__“And she believed it? I’m obviously out of your league” he said, folding his arms. “But that’s it then? Final night for a bit. What would you like to do with it?”_ _

__“Why fight for real of course. I want to see how far I’ve come.”_ _

__Hugh gave a pointed look at Gilbert who looked up, mouth half full of food._ _

__“What?” the blonde said. “Surely you don’t mean against me?”_ _

__“Well who else? You’re the type she needs practice defending against. Big louts that can’t get a girl, not men like me. Women flock to us.”_ _

__I giggled. “Hugh, don’t be so mean. Gilbert’s quite the looker.”_ _

__The darker man touched his earring teasingly and shot me a coy look of his own. “Oh I know it, but let’s not let him catch on to that quite yet.”_ _

__Gilbert was still not convinced that he would be the best sparring partner for me, but after a bit more cajoling and wheedling he finally agreed. I had faux practiced with him many many times, but now that I was to fight him seriously I had to admit that his size was a bit intimidating. He looked like a stone fortress if it was blonde and boy-faced. I shuffled foot to foot and shook my arms out before raising them into a fighting stance. My gloved hands looked very tiny compared to his._ _

__“Ready?” I asked and he nodded._ _

__I sprang forward on my front foot and jabbed with my right fist. He blocked with his left, reaching with his other hand to grab me. So I twisted, going against his momentum to try and shove him forward and off balance, but he was a practiced fighter and didn’t budge. Opposite of where we started we situated ourselves again, fists up and knees slightly bent as we faced each other. For a few seconds I danced lightly on my feet and then I sped forward again. This time feinting to my left. He tracked the movement with his body and when I sent a punch in my true direction he was completely unprepared. I landed a punch square into his right eye. An instant regret. I had expected him to block the face shot and then open up his kidney area. I backed off immediately as he reeled back with a small hiss of pain._ _

__“Ah, Gil! I’m so sorry! Here let me see.” I cried, peeling his hand back from the damage. The small gasp and wince of pain he made when I did so twisted the dagger further into my gut.”I thought we were going to fight for real, I’m so sorry. It doesn’t seem like anything is broken at least.”_ _

__Hugh came to stand behind me as I examined Gilbert. “You need to work on your punch then. It’s a weak bone there. How are you doing Gil?”_ _

__The larger man waved me off him and stood. Glaring down one-eyed at Hugh. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just going to bruise tomorrow.”_ _

__I sucked in my breath. It was already turning colors even in the dim lighting that the stables provided. He refused to to fight me again of course, but after a bit of rest and a strong drink did agree to let me practice with him again. I felt a little bad pressuring him, but Hugh was right. Gilbert was the better size to know how to fight. Especially figuring that I would be needing these types of lessons most against Templars. We took places opposite of each other again with the intent that he would attack and I would practice moving around him. It worked well the first few tries until I tried a daring move around him. It was not a well thought out one though and my path took me directly into one of his elbows. It knocked me back against the wall and I tasted blood._ _

__“Guess we’re even now,” I commented as I touched my mouth gingerly. There was red on my fingertips when I pulled them away._ _

__“I didn’t mean-” Gilbert started to say, but then the barn door flung open and the bright light of a lantern shone in._ _

__I shielded my eyes immediately but not before I noticed a familiarity about the man holding it._ _

__“What is going on here?” He near shouted and I blanched. It was Cullen. The light lowered and he was near me in an instant. His face darkening when he saw that I was bleeding and his hand strayed towards the hilt of his sword. “Explain yourselves now. What are you doing with the Herald of Andraste?”_ _

__For once Hugh was silent, but Gilbert immediately began stammering out an apology made even more incomprehensible by my attempts to explain it all to Cullen as well. He was in no mood to listen however and he hauled me up by the arm._ _

__“I should have you two strung up for this,” he said, glowering at the two soldiers. “This is never to happen again and there will be consequences.”_ _

__With that lingering between them he dragged me out the doorway, slamming it behind him. We didn’t go far before he swung me up onto a barrel like a rag doll._ _

__“What were you thinking!” he hissed._ _

__“That I left a bigger mark on him,” I replied lightly._ _

__He hung his lantern up and then angled it onto my face. I shielded myself against the light once more._ _

__“Your lips busted,” he observed, a little softer now. “It’s bleeding quite a bit. We should get you to a medic.”_ _

__“No, I want to keep it. As a reminder, like he’s gotta keep the eye,” I said and lowered my hand. Our eyes met._ _

__It was a brief connection and it lasted no longer than a heartbeat before he turned and dropped the light away from my face. It swung there. Casting us into light and shadow until it stilled._ _

__“Commander,” I said after a moment._ _

__He looked up, meeting my eyes again for a second before averting them. His hand rubbed the back of his head and he seemed torn between exasperation and relief._ _

__“Cullen. Call me Cullen.”_ _

__I smiled. “Cullen, then. Do you still have templar abilities?”_ _

__“Yes, why?” he said, too puzzled to avoid looking at me now._ _

__It was my turn to feel a little awkward. I bent my head fidgeting. “Because I want to know. Before I meet one, you know, out there. I want to know what it feels like to be up against one. I’m going to be in the midst of templar and mage battles when I go to meet Mother Giselle. I’ve seen and trained a bit against other mages, but never a templar. I want to know what happens when you suppress my magic, how it feels, what I may even do about it.”_ _

__“Are you sure? Alright.”_ _

__Whatever he did or however he did it, it wasn’t a gradual feeling. It was like a cement wall had suddenly come down around me. I could see the Veil as always, but trying to reach it was like trying to punch through a wall of ice first. It was a panicky feeling, to be surrounded by magic, but not able to use it easily. Like having a gun within reach, but knowing I wouldn’t be able to fire it in time before the killer caught me. It would be worse out there too, in the Hinterlands. It wouldn’t just be one templar then, but three or four all reinforcing reality, cutting me off even further._ _

__The feeling faded._ _

__“Are you alright?” Cullen asked with a touch of concern, one of his hands reaching up._ _

__I nodded, catching my breath._ _

__“Yeah,” I managed to say after a few seconds. “That was something else though. I understand firsthand now why the mages and the templars have their differences. Both so scared of the other’s capabilities. That was the worst thing I’ve felt since I’ve gotten here.”_ _

__His hand dropped back to his side and he looked almost wounded for a moment. “We should get to a medic. Cass is going to kill you and me if she finds out.”_ _

__It took some assurance that Nyx would heal me before he let me go without seeing a healer first. I wasn’t sure if she actually could, but I had no intentions visiting the clinic to answer the irritating questions of how it happened and then seeing the story and rumors spread. I had gotten Gilbert and Hugh into enough trouble as it was. I didn’t need gossips to start saying they had kidnapped me or something else ridiculous, especially when I wouldn’t be around to defend them._ _

__Nyx was asleep by the time I returned. I bathed quietly, making sure to wash the dried blood off my chin, and then slipped in beside her. It took a few minutes before I drifted off to sleep. I was in the Fade again. The feeling of being watched was still there, but it didn’t scare me as it had before and that night I took the first steps outside my area to being exploring the rest of what was available to me._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing has been a bit slow. Partly because I'm getting into the really challenging part of it where I'm trying to create tension, explore angst, and promote DRAMATIC TIMING. And partly because I'm obsessed with replaying _Oxenfree _to live and relive the angst that is that game. It's short and beautiful and I'm not tired of it yet.__
> 
> __Thank you again to everyone who is reading! You keep me invested in improving my story telling abilities and finishing what I've started!_ _


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